Michael Jackson's Influence

Michael Jackson passed away today. This is a very sad moment. My condolences to his family and to all those who mourn. RIP Michael Jackson.

So . . .

It's easy to ignore someone's affect on you if you have not directly been in contact with them. But you would really be surprised at how close we are in this world. Whether it be a song you hear on the radio, a book you read, or a movie you watch, there is often a connection between you and someone else, especially if they are world renown.

And so, in honor of Michael Jackson, here are some connections for those who think he did not have an impact on them. Regardless or what you think of his personal life Michael Jackson was a great musical artist. He paved the way for many artists of today and dramatically changed the way we watch music videos and listen to songs, among other things. Labelled as the "King of Pop" I think he has by far reached all genres and managed to reach pockets of the world that some of us would not have ever fathomed.

This website lists a ton of MJ songs that have been covered by other artists

http://www.hypeful.com/2008/09/04/the-big-5-0-150-cover-songs-of-madonna-michael-jackson-prince/

Here's a snipet:

Mika - “I Want You Back”
KT Tunstall - “I Want You Back”
Lightspeed Champion - “Thriller”
Ian Brown - “Thriller”
Petra Haden - “Thriller”
Ananda - “Thriller”
Fall Out Boy - “Beat It”
Amy Winehouse and Charlotte Church - “Beat It”
Señor Coconut And His Orchestra - “Beat It”
James Morrison - “Man In The Mirror”
Robert Randolph and the Family Band - “Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough”
Jazztronik - “Rock With You”
John Legend and Stephen Colbert - “The Girl is Mine”
David Cook - “Billie Jean”
Glenn Case - “Human Nature”
Chenard Walcker - “Remember the Time”
Sam Miller & Andy Smith - “Dancing Machine”
Kris Moyse - “Blame It On The Boogie”
The Moons - “I’ll Be There”
Transformer Di Roboter - “Stranger In Moscow”


And for the dance world, the choreographers who worked on MJs videos have gained world recognition.

Michael Peters, who choreographed "Thriller" also directed music videso for Lionel Riche, Diana Ross, and Billy Joel.

Fatima Robinson did the choreography for "Remember the Time" and "Black and White" has worked in movies "Save the Last Dance"; "Shall we Dance", and with VH1, and the 2009 Academy Awards.

Farah Khan, a famous Bollywood actress began doing choreography after watching "Thriller." She has gone on to do the choreography for Monsoon Wedding, Bombay Dreams and other movies.

He's been featured in various magazines: Rolling Stone, People, Ebony, Jet, Italian Vogue, Life, and many others.

MJ will remain a legend, like Elvis, Bob Marley, John Lennon, Cher, and many more to come. Let's all remember not to disregard their influence on the things we now enjoy.

~RIP MJ~

Moving On

You don't always get that goodbye that you wanted, or that one last hug, or sometimes you don't even get an apology when someone has wronged you. There is always something that we want for "closure." I hate that term sometimes. Does it even exist? There's always more that could have been done. And I feel like rather than things being "finished" or "closed" we learn to live with what we get.

But, in light of the fact that we live in a world full of imperfect humans and we can not control others peoples actions or responses, one just has to move on. When the time is right and there's been the appropriate sulking, tearfest, angry phase, and [insert whatever emotion you need to feel to be "over it"] you just have to let bygons be bygons and take one for the team and move on. Unfortunately, sometimes this team consists of one sole player: you, so it gets frustrating to always take one for the team, but what better way to describe our losses? We won't get everything that we want. And sometimes you just have to bite your tongue, let the jealousy and anger pass, and shrug, because it just wasn't your turn to have it.

So, it wasn't my turn to have that thing that I had wanted. And it's all for the better. So today June 24, 2009 I am moving on. And the resentment and anger and jealously eventually subsides and you can be content for your "component" and sincerly appreciative that you are no longer in a situation that doesn't work.

I love the line in India.Arie's song (can't remember the name right now) that the worst disease is Hate. And it is true; it eats and eats at you until you are bitter and angry; and that leads to hurting others, whether verbally or physically; or at the very least thinking negative thoughts of others.

Let the chips fall where they may. I've got bigger fish to fry. hahaha

Everything is funnier in hindsight.

As of late

More and more I wonder where I stand with you. I love the fact that we have this bond that no one would quite understand. I know things about you that you probably don't discuss with others, and you know personal things about my life and me. There's this connection between us that somehow binds us together. And yet, I feel I belong to the private sector, like I'm your secret friend. I love it that I can be in the private circle and have a deeper understanding of who you are, but I also feel like I'm hiding in the shadows when others come to play, like I'm only fun when no one else is around.

Maybe it's me - maybe I'm in this weird state where I'm just non-trusting of people as they get closer and closer because that's usually about the time when I get hurt. Or I've been said to raise the bar too high for those to jump above. Or maybe it's not all in my head and I'm not allowing myself to believe that you just are that inconsiderate and just squeezing out the juice of friendship as much as you can before you toss the orange away.

I don't know which one it is, but I get a little tired of having to figure it out all the time. And I get mad at myself for trying so hard to keep your friendship. Why not just let it go away in the waves? There's that crazy glue bond that I can't seem to understand. And really, I don't need to understand it; I just need to make sure that you are holding on as much as I am holding on. Becauase if it's just me pulling you on the shore . . . then I'll let go.

Hold on or let go? The inevitable question.

Out with the Old . . .

The long used adage - out with the old, in with the new is great for everyday life. New is so easy to come by. You can buy something or fix something so that it is like new. But the 'out with the old' part, well that, that is a doosey. I'm purging right now - I think it has more to do with mentally wanting to move on - from old ideas, to old methods, to cleansing myself of negative people, things, etc. - than anything else. And it feels good, so good, to finally get rid of things that have been tagging along for literally years. At the final point when you let it go you wonder to yourself - that was easy, why didn't I do that years ago?

The downside of all this cleansing, so to speak, is that it brings up memories. For the most part I think we choose to keep the good memories, and we let the bad memories be forgotten. Well sometimes you miss people that were in your life or that had a different role then as they do now. And it's the same out with the old, in with the new attitude with people, but it's somehow tougher when a non inanimate object is involved.

So I think I'm on this great whirlwind for purging and throwing things out that I no longer need to hold on to. But then BAM I was hit with this longing for something that's no longer within my realm to want. And I know that, but it hurts a little. I just have to remind myself that nothing worth having ever comes easy and I have to have a little more patience and faith that God knows what He's doing.

Definitely working on the patience part.

I bid adieu for now.

Summer

Summer is almost here. I can feel it. You know what? I don't care for problems or drama right now. I seriously don't care. My watch battery died the other day and I haven't had it replaced, so I just stopped wearing my watch. It's so funny how that tiny symbolic gesture has made things so much simpler. I'm not always worried about what "time" it is, so to speak. And I'm not really letting petty things get to me. "Time" as we know it is this abstract idea, and just as language is the words that we make it up to be, time is an compiliation of all the events that we want it to be. And so if you don't want something to be in your "time," eliminate it.

So I am off to a new start. Again. Haha, yes I tend to do this several times a year. And it always feels good. Out with the old, in with the new.

Random book I picked up: The Stinky Cheeseman and Other Fairly Stupid Tales

Musical Playlist

I love words strewn together. Music, to me, is the poetry of life. It is an ongoing essay, where everyone is independently going through the same hardships, the same feelings, and the same . . .life. As different as we all may be I am fascinated that I can share the sentiment of someone I've never met. So, since I can not seem to get of this rollercoaster of life, I might as well listen to some music while riding.

Here is my latest "musical playlist" story.



One day, you're just minding your business and you meet someone that you did not expect to meet. And maybe they sweep you off your feet.


1. “Sway” Michael Buble
Only you have the magic technique
When we sway I go 'Weeeeeeeeeeee'

Do I go the safe route or do I take a chance on what could be awesome or yet another mistake?

2“I hope you dance” Lee Ann Womack
And when you get the chance to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance.

And maybe they tell you everything that you want to hear, and they are the person that you can confide in

3. "1,2,3,4" Plain White Tees
Tell me that I'm special even when I know I'm not
[…]
Tell me things you never even tell your closest friends

So you give love a chance, hoping that you won't get hurt

4.“L-O-V-E” Nat King Cole
Take my heart and please don't break it

At some point you have to just go for it and either leave your feet planted or jump.

5. “Breathe (2am)” Anna Nalick
‘Cause you can’t jump the track
with line cars on the cable
and life’s like an hour glass
glued to the table

And you may be on the ride of your life. And they seem like everything you could ask for; or close enough.

6. “The Truth” India.Arie
I love the way he speaks
I love the way he thinks
I love the way he treats his mama
I love that gap in between his teeth
I love him in every way that a woman can love a man from personal to universal but most of all its unconditional

Unfortunately, things don't always work out. And you try and try but to no avail.

7. “The Pieces Don’t Fit Anymore” James Morrison
It’s time to surrender
It’s been too long pretending
There’s no use in trying
When the pieces don’t fit anymore

Lying, cheating, stealing; the whole nine yards

8. “My Sweet Song” Toby Lightman
Oh you said love was forever
and you told me told me love would never
Break my heart,
and I believed you as I fell

And maybe you tak a little longer to catch on, but eventually you do.

9. “Irreplaceable” Beyonce
So since I’m not your everything
How about I’ll be nothing

You go through your "woe is me" phase. And then they become less important to you as you realize you deserve so much better

10. “Over it” Katherine McPhee
Because I’m so over
‘I’m sorry’

Of course you are angry, but at some point you just don't have the energy; nor should you waste any additional time, on this chump

11. “I Can’t Hate You Anymore” Nick Lachey
We built it up
To watch it fall
Like we meant nothing at all

But regardless of the outcome, you had to make your mistakes on your own. You have to take the calculated risk, so that you can figure out what you need to do. It IS better to have loved, than to never have loved at all, no matter how much it hurts.

12. “Right to be wrong” Joss Stone
I've got a right to be wrong
Got to sing my own song
I might be singing out of key
But it sure feels good to me

And to be perfectly honest, it's almost better to make your mistakes on the jerks and people not worth it, so that you are all fine-tuned when the real deal shows up

13. “My favorite mistake” Sheryl Crow
You’re my favorite mistake

And then you move on.

14. "Knock You Down" Keri Hilson
Sometimes love comes around
and it knocks you down
Just get back up
when it knocks you down

The ride is a beautiful thing. Even though it gets a little bumpy, I wouldn't trade the experience for anything in the world. For now, I'm going to stick in line and ride another ride.

Maybe I'll even get one of those fast lane passes one day . . .

Better to have loved?

That's what they say right? Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Well, the interim can be pretty sucky. Because just when you think you've moved on something reminds you of their smile or warm embrace and you resist every urge to tell them how much you care about them. Because that was yesterday. And today is today. And it's so hard to have to hold in your true feelings.

But today I bite my tongue. So my lips don't utter what my heart is feeling.

Randomnicities

Well it has been a little over a week since I've decided to get offline. Ok, since I actually got offline. I decided a little before then. This has turned into somewhat of a social experiment for me. So far it's been really interesting. The first couple of days were hard because I was really wondering what was going on and wanted to be in the know; but as the days passed I found other ways to spend my time and it's actually pretty liberating. I'm not tied down to a computer for hours or feeling the need to check on things so often. I've met up with people [in person] that I hadn't talked to in a while, cleaned up around the place, and not been as stressed out about finding out things the unnatural way. And I've found that people that really want to get a hold of me will utilize the many other avenues of communication. In some ways I am avoiding certain things but it's nice to have a break; I needed to have a break. I do miss talking to certain people who's main communication was via the internet and I know that I am not responding to messages that I don't even know that I have. So that is a downside, but again I haven't moved, my number hasn't changed, and my email still works, so I'm finding that I'm getting by and enjoying this simplification. Now that my cold is going away I will have even more time to see where this goes. And when the weather gets really nice it's going to be me and my bike and my mp3 player. And maybe a book. And a puzzle. The possibilities are endless. And I love it!

Life Lesson # 39285

You've got to be kidding yourself if you don't believe that a series of events all leading up to the same thing are not in any way or shape related. Well, I have had an interesting, to say the least, week. And I guess I finally figured out what my lesson was. After a month of being frustrated with what I was getting into, what I was learning, and just this mass information overload - like a lightbulb went off in my head - I get it. And it's like duh!! Why didn't I figure this out a month or even two months ago? So . . . drumroll please . . . I think this time the lesson was to . . . get offline. The internet is a great tool, but it's time for me to save on my energy bill and just do other things. There are a couple of books that I've been meaning to read, and my purging phase of old documents needs to be complete. The internet has been frustrating me lately and I haven't managed to ween myself away. Well, I think it's time. So I'm going to try. I obviously have to stay online to blog to wonderful readers like you (hi-five) and to find out about great dance events in the area, but yeah, this transparency of myself and what's going on in my life, is not exactly the transparency I was aiming for. Nor do I need to know what's going on in other people's lives all the time. I'd like to talk more to people in person, rather than chatting, and just get back to the ideals of less being more. Sooooooo after many attempts at my sanity, I have finally figured out my lesson.

:)

Friendship

I think I'm using the word too lightly. Or at least, as of late, it's been biting me in the butt. With myspace and facebook, and any other online stalking application you can think of, anyone that knows you can request to be your "friend." But let's step back a second. They aren't really your friend. The button should really read - "People that I know." I would prefer that much more. I'm trying to remind myself that people that I know - whether it be from off the street, high school, college, grad school, or work, are just that - people that I know, and they all aren't actually my friends. They aren't people that you can call at 2am when your car won't start and you want to get home, or that will call you to see if you are sick because they hadn't heard from you in a week, or that you would call to hang out just for fun. They aren't people that would care to let you know about the car giveaway a mile from your house, or that you would text a most hilarious joke. No, these are virtual "buddies" who are just accumulating numbers to say that you are indeed their friend. Now, there are different levels of friendship in real life, so don't get me wrong. And obviously online applications are great for keeping in touch with those that are far far away, but for the ones that are right here in your backyard, literally minutes from your doorstep, it is a cold, hard, reminder that that little title online, really doesn't hold its weight. And I guess I let it get the best of me and thought that these people actually were my friends and that they did care about me. Nope, wrong again. I'm just another number on their profile. And I'm not going to fight it. It's just that I needed to realize that - because I was getting offended by what my "friends" were doing without me, then I realized they weren't my friends to begin with. And now I'm in the process of weeding out in my head who I think I can call just to talk. They will all remain "friends" because for me the label simply means "People I know" but I will no longer count on them to be there for me or to care about me or my well-being, because that's how I got into this mess in the first place. But if feels good to say it out loud. Makes it real. And don't worry - if you are reading this, then you probably aren't one of the ones I'm talking to :)

Happy New Year - 2009!

It is 2009. Believe it or not, but 2008 is over. 2008 was very interesting. Very. Interesting. To say the least. But now it is about looking forward.To enjoy each moment as it comes. And not to dwell on things that are beyond are control. Here's to realizing that there's more than "your way" and the "wrong way" but others are entitled to make their own mistakes and do things "their way." And here's to letting go of people/objects/ideas that are detrimental to our well-being; to our growth. Here's to having the courage to say no when it's that acorn covered in gold, or that million dollar empty jar. And here's to not having to be put through the test to show that you have faith. 2009 is about having an opinion and not just going with the crowd. For working hard and getting things done. And most of all, to do something which benefits someone else in this little world of ours.

Winter Song

This is a really pretty song. It fits my mood right now. Life is just so . . . well . . . unpredictable. And just like the snow that has fallen, things feel pretty clear right now, if only momentarily. And I'm ok with that, ironically.

"Winter Song" by Sara Bareilles (ft Ingrid Michaelson)


Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
Bum bum bum bum bum bum
Bum bum bum bum bum bum

This is my winter song to you.
The storm is coming soon,
It rolls in from the sea

My voice; a beacon in the night.
My words will be your light,
To carry you to me.

Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love

They say that things just cannot grow
Beneath the winter snow,
Or so I have been told.

They say were buried far,
Just like a distant star
I simply cannot hold.

Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?

This is my winter song.
December never felt so wrong,
Cause you're not where you belong;
Inside my arms.

Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
Bum bum bum bum bum bum
Bum bum bum bum bum bum

I still believe in summer days.
The seasons always change
And life will find a way.

I'll be your harvester of light
And send it out tonight
So we can start again.

Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?

This is my winter song.
December never felt so wrong,
Cause you're not where you belong;
Inside my arms.

This is my winter song to you.
The storm is coming soon
It rolls in from the sea.

My love a beacon in the night.
My words will be your light
To carry you to me.

Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?

Life These Days

I can not believe it is already November 2008. It seems like we were just celebrating the new year. Well, life for me, has been nothing short of exciting. It's a constant rollercoaster of events, feelings, situations. I have learned a lot thus far and I wanted to take a minute to share.

1. Don't Settle for settling: This may sound funny, but I think we sometimes become accostomed to not always getting what we want, so we settle for the "next best," although it may not always be what we want. I learned this helpful little lesson while purchasing a bookshelf. Sometimes you need to hold off for what you really want rather than taking what's there. And if it's a really important decision see if you can sleep on it. When you aren't in the heat of the moment, you are more likely to make a rationale decision.

2. Have a game plan: I have heard too many times people telling me that you never know what you are going to do when the actual situation comes up. I agree, but I don't think it hurts to have a plan. I'm not saying that you can, or should, try to plan out every aspect of your life, but you can consider what you would want to do in important situations. It won't always work, mind you, but at least you would have had a plan. For instance - no one wants to get into a car accident, but if you have all of your numbers handy and a list of things to do you don't have to worry later about forgetting to get the other person's driver license number or something along those lines.

3. Be vocal: Sometimes we are all afraid of committment, so when we do commit to something we only tell ourselves. Well, we need to be held accountable. If you are staying away from sweets for a week let someone know. That way if you are about to slip, they can encourage you, or you can feel compelled to stick to your agreement because there are people around you who would witness your breaking your committment. If you tend to drink or smoke and you want to go the night without, telling someone will alleviate your stress because they know you don't want anything and they may refrain from offering. Relying on willpower will get you into trouble at times.

4. Love life: Life is too short. Enjoy the smallest joys that life has to offer, whether it even be the little kid waving to you when no one all day muttered a hello.

5. Patience: be patient. This is probably my biggest downfall. Time does not like to be rushed. It can't, in fact, and we must remember this. Everything happens in its own time and worrying about the future or trying to progress things will not help. I like things NOW. I like answers to my questions NOW, so I'm learning to wait. Sometimes the answer naturally arises or becomes apparent.

That's it for now. I just had to get some things out my head.

La dee da guys

I'm Hungry - Blog Action Day

Quite often I have heard people say “I am Hungry,” and then proceed to find some type of substance to fulfill their request. But what if your words fell onto deaf ears, or ears that could hear but could not do anything to help you? If you’ve ever fasted or gone without food for an extended period of time, than maybe you can relate. But if you haven’t – just imagine if there was no food in the fridge and you didn’t have the money to buy anything and all of your friends were in the same situation. How would you feel then?

How would you feel if you were starving? Dehydrated? Perhaps I’m being a bit dramatic, but if you lived like that then you wouldn’t think this was such a moot point. The purpose in this imaginative thinking is to get you to think. Perhaps you have never dealt with poverty on a personal level. I know that I haven’t. Ans so it becomes this surreal “world problem” that can be flipped off with the late night shows showing kids from various third-world countries. It’s as easy as that to forget about the 850 million people in the US that go hungry each night. And it shouldn’t be. We should not turn away and forget about it because it doesn’t affect us, or isn’t important.

The topic of this years blog action day as you may have guessed is poverty. And so I was challenged. I was challenged to write my thoughts on poverty for the world to read. This is a daunting task, but I take it with the utmost respect. Because it is those without a voice that deserve to be most heard.

First, let’s get the facts straight. Poverty as defined in the United States is determined by the Department of Health & Human services. The thresholds and guidelines are provided with help from the US census. Basically, for a family of 4 an income less than $21, 200 per year would qualify you as being in the poverty level. For a single person it is about $10,000. The World Bank publishes that 1.4 billion people in the world live in poverty, defined as living on less than $1.25/day.

The United Nations Development Programme attributes poverty to at least 3 sources other than lack of income: “ill-health, illiteracy, [and] lack of access to basic social services.”

I’m not here to convince you that poverty exists, because it does. I am reminding you to reconsider it, because it has gone to the back of some of our brains. Perhaps we have gotten caught up in fighting other first that we just don’t have the energy. And that is a shame. It is a shame that in a world so plentiful people must die from hunger.One person in the Micah Challenge video (see link below) said that the only difference between a kid in an impoverished country and one in a wealthy country is their circumstance. If you were born into an unfortunate situation – wouldn’t you want help?

I’m not going to even try to encompass all that is poverty into this blog post. But doing this research has challenged me, and I hope you, to do something. I think we get so overwhelmed with other problems. And since we can’t possibly tackle everything, we lose energy and decided not to focus on any one particular problem.

So, you can close this window and never think of poverty again. However, hopefully I have at least momentarily convinced you to think of what you would like someone else to do if you were in an impoverished country.

There are a couple of things that individuals can do to help:
1) Find out more information and share with people – you can check out the references, use a search engine, learn more and get the facts
2) Write letters to your political representatives. It takes energy to bring about change and maybe there are some issues that your local area could change that would impact those in other places
3) Consider what you are buying. Where did it come from? Do we have free trade with them? Are we ripping those people off - We all want to save money, but at what expense? I was watching a podcast about Ethiopia’s coffee trade and how little money they were making when the middle men were making so much profit. Maybe we should stop to think about the trickle down effect and buy from people that give a fair share to the farmers.
4) Check out the Micah Challenge: http://micahchallenge.org.au/ encouraging people to help others and stop turning their heads to this problem which is affection millions.
5) Donate money to causes to help others get the food they need

Thank you for reading my blog. I hope that I can at least make 1 person reconsider the case for poverty.

God Bless!

References:
US Dept of Health & Human Services Poverty Measure: http://aspe.hhs.gov/poverty/08Poverty.shtml

United Nations Development Programme
http://www.undp.org/poverty/propoor.htm

Updates

So it has been a while since I last wrote. A lot of things have happened - I went to a wedding in April. I travelled to France and Germany in May. I saw John Legend (above) on the 4th of July. I've been doing some volunteer work, and I am finally able to commit to things seeing as I renewed my lease. I'm here to stay. For now, which is more than I could say a little over a year ago. I've had some jaw dropping moments (the text message, the misguided crush, the 'buddy' album) so it has been an interesting 8 months thus far. So I will be updating soon with more details. Some of this stuff will never make it online though for apparent reasons, but I can always write about the lessons I learn from someone else's situation. So, to all my avid readers out there (I realize there's probably only1 or 2) - more is on the way :)

Pride and Prejudice

If the book is anything like the movie then Jane Austen knew her stuff. I watched the 2005 version with Keira Knightly (favorite actress right now), Matthey MacFayden,and others. The screenplay was written by Deborah Moggach and the film was directed by Joe Wright. Ok, so let me give you the 2008 interpretation of this movie - it's great that it even applies. I borrowed it on a whim, thinking I probably wouldn't like it and would find it hard to relate, but it was funny, happy, sad, etc...

Alright, here it is - if you plan on reading the book or seeing the movie, you probably shouldn't read this (it'll spoil it):

So this is a story of the Bennet family - Mr. and Mrs. Bennet and their five daughters - in order of age - Jane, Elizabeth, Mary, Kitty, and Lydia. The live in Georgian England. Basically it was the custom of that era to marry your daughters off in order of age. It was also the custom that some guy checks out your daughter and if they want their hand they will ask you for a certain amount of money - if the father and the girl say yes, so be it, they get married, and she leaves her parents' home to start a home of her own.

So you have Jane, the oldest girl, who is a bit shy. Lizzie, as they call her, is the second oldest and does not hesitate to speak her mind. Mary plays the piano all the time, but isn't very good so gets laughed at, and Kitty and Lydia are very giggly girls. I believe Lydia is 16 years old.

So this wealthy guy, Mr. Bingley, comes strolling into town and the Bennet family wants him to meet their daughter, Jane, at the ball. He brings his friend Mr. Darcy along who does not dance. In modern terms, Mr. Darcy is Mr. Bingley's wingman. So Mr. Darcy and Lizzie strike up a conversation while Jane is busy dancing with Mr. Bingley. Or rather she begins talking to him. He's rather short with her and when asks if he dances replies "Not if I can help it." Basically he's pretty rude so Lizzie shrugs him off. Lizzie goes off to dance and talks to one of your friends underneath an alcove. Someone asks Mr. Darcy what he things of her and he basically said "very intolerable." Ouch. Yes, that kinda hurt Lizzie's feelings who was standing about 30 feet away in the shadows. So that pretty much set her dislike for him.

There's more details but you really should see it for yourself . . .

Ok, so here we have Jane happily enjoying the company of Mr. Bingley, which is great because she's the eldest and its about that time. Things are going well and they look like they are on the way to getting married. Jane goes to visit his house and gets very sick. She stays there for a while and boom! next thing you know the guys got cold feet and has to "run." Jane is upset and everyone is confused.

In the meantime when Jane was "spoken for" this guy Mr. Collins came around the house asking about the Bennet girls. He was pretty put off when he found that Lizzie was the next in line but he did what they did back then and started getting to know her. Then he asked her to marry him. She of course said no, which I feel was a very good answer (he was weird), and her mother was very angry with her - who's going to take care of things when her father is gone, blah, blah, blah. Her father gave her permission not to marry this guy, who everyone thinks is a jerk.

So make the plot thicken, everywhere Lizzie goes she keeps running into Mr. Darcy, who she disdains. Soon they get to talking and she learns that he broke up Mr. Bingley and Jane because he didn't want his friend to get hurt. She says that is silly, Jane loved Mr. Bingley. Mr Darcy said well, she didn't show it. Lizzie tells him she does, she is just shy. Yada yada yada fade scene Mr. Darcy tells Lizze he loves her and asks her to marry him - because that made chronological sense. She calls him all sorts of names (for the 18th century, although I think they added some 21st century terms) and pretty much told him to go away. It was one of those moments:

girl: I'm so mad at you i don't want to hear another word
guy: But I've got more to say. It will make you understand
girl: I hate you. I never want to see you again
guy: <stands in rain, getting wetter>
girl: <stomps away, probably crying or something hysterical for theatrical affect>

I think in those key moments we could have learned more, but c'mon that would have made a shorter movie.

That weird guy, Mr. Collins, asks Lizzie's friend to marry him (boy is he on a roll), and at least she says yes. There's a little argument between Lizzie and the girl. She basically says - look, I'm getting older and I want to be married, and he asked me, so don't judge me, just be happy for me. So in being happy for her Lizzie went to go visit with them. While there some big shot, Lady Catherine, asks to see them and they all go over to her castle-like house. Of course, Mr. Darcy is there. People pretty much do what Lady Catherine asks for and she requested Lizzie to play the piano, although she told her she wasn't very good. Well she plays a song and at dinner Lady Catherin starts getting really nosey - do you have any other talents? No. Do your sisters draw? No. Hmmm, basically she was proving that the Bennet's were a lower class. Real polite at dinner. Well Lizzie had her words - it was pretty funny (see I'm not giving it all away).

So back home they learn that Lydia has run away. Shes the youngest and some guy had his eye on her. Eventually they find her and she is married. The mother is happy (does a little dance) and the Bennet's celebrate. It is interesting that her uncle had to only pay 100 units (I don't think it was pounds) for their marriage. Ehh, they shrug it off.

Lizzie receives a letter from Mr. Darcy explaining all the things he couldn't say in the rain when she ran off hysterically. Basically, he apologized for breaking up Jane and Mr. Bingley - he thought that she didn't like him as much as he liked her and he was looking out for his main man. He had helped Lydia get married by paying some of the money. Basically, he was turning to be a prety good guy and she had him all wrong. Pause. Wow. So now she kinda liked this dude whom she had loathed.

Knock, knock, knock, Lady Catherine appears at the Bennet household in the middle of the night requesting to speak with Lizzie. They go in a room and Lady Catherine boldy asks if she is engaged to Mr. Darcy. The conversation goes like this:

LC = Lady Catherine

LC : Little girl, I know you are not engaged to Mr. Darcy, is that correct?
Lizzie: Why are you asking?
LC: Don't play coy with me - you know very well that he is meant to be engaged to my daughter
Lizzie: Well if you knew that whey did you travel all the way here to ask me suck a silly question?
LC: Answer the question. Are you engaged to Mr. Darcy?
Lizzie: I am not
LC: Well promise me you will never be engaged to him
Lizzie: You have some nerve comin' up in my house and insulting me like this. I owe you no promises and I really have to ask you to leave. <opens door> Get the steppin'
LC: <Mumbling> I have never been treated so rudely . . . .

I love that scene haha.

To make a long story short Mr. Bingley comes back and apologizes to Jane - I personally think the scene could have been a bit longer because I would have wanted a better apology for kicking me to the curb, but that's just me. He asks her to marry him, she says yes, they do a little dance, and all is well.

Eventually Jane sees Mr. Darcy again and there is this romantic moment. He says to her "If your feelings have not changed since last April then you tell me and with one word I am out of your life. But if they have changed and you feel the way I do then let me know and we can be together." And as for all the stuff that happened - Bingley coming back and Lydia having enough money to get married - he said "I did it all for you" big awww moment. Happy ending, so you can imagine what happens. She says yes, then they go to her father and ask him. Meanwhile all of her siblings (and her mother) are confused, saying "I thought she didn't like him." The father agrees and gives him their consent.

Fade to a view of the hills . . . .English songs in the background . . .All is well. Funny how are pride can produce so many ill-founded prejudices, ay?

Praise God!

February had been a very trying month, but I have to tell you - today was a testimony in itself of how things eventually get better. Hmm . . .where shall we start?

WARNiNG: the "bad" part may be a bit graphic for some so you can skip to the good part, but it's important to see how I got there - so be brave . . .

Alright, sometime in early February I caught a little cold - this has to be around the 4th. It got worse and I began taking medicine hoping it would get better. The following week - of the 11th - I was feeling better, and it felt like the cold or flu or whatever bug I had was going away. I even played dodgeball that day. I had the day off from dodgeball for President's day on the 18th so I went home and cooked and watched a movie and just relaxed. Sometime between 1 and 2 am something didn't agree with me and food just wouldn't stay down (I am sparing you the visual here). It was horrible. Here it was 3 in the morning and I'm tired and I can't sleep because of this. I didn't know what it was or if I needed to call the hospital. Long story short - I called the doctor and left a message to make an appointment in the morning. I called my boss telling him the situation and how I didn't think I would make it in the next (same really) day. Eventually I got to sleep, but I didn't sleep very well. I was missing a meeting at work but I was in no shape to turn on my laptop and I didn't have their phone numbers, so I was worried about that. And the fact that I didn't know what was wrong with me. And then the little tidbit about being hungry since I lost all of what I had ate the day before. I called the doctor's office to make an appointment - apparently they don't call you back - and it wasn't until 2:45pm. So I asked if I could eat and they told me clear liquids only. By this time my family was worried because I told them what happened and I was worried and hungry. And then I had to drive myself 12 miles to the doctor because no one near my house was accepting new patients when I had my cold. ANYWAY, the doctor told me I had a stomach virus or something and I was restricted to eating Bananas, Rice/Cereal, Applesauce, Toast, and Tea. The ride home was interesting because I had to stop and get my prescription and wait 30 minutes for it, plus go up and down the isles purchasing this stuff that I could eat - all the while I was weak from not eating and looking a hot mess. To conclude this bad part of the story, the virus went away and I was feeling ok 2 days later - at least ok enough to go to work. I was still scared to eat the foods I wanted, which is a horrible feeling. Have you ever been scared to eat? Like an orange? Because you don't know if it will agree with you or not? To have an array of delicious food in front of you that you can not eat. HORRIBLE!! So the virus went away and the cold came back, strong force, I guess because I had stopped taking the medicine. Anyway, I think the cold is finally going away and I can thank God that I can now eat normal foods.

So then, the good part, you inquire. Well they are having this retirement party for a guy at work AND the gospel choir is having it's anniversary concert on the same day. The events start an hour and a half away from eachother, and are probably 60 miles or so apart from eachother. The guy who is having the retirement party is such a nice guy - he's got to be in his early 60s. I had only known him for a couple of months but he would always give me advice and help me out with things at work. Anyone working at a plant - the operators are the key to knowledge! So I had planned to go to this before I knew the date. I had also planned to go to this anniversary concert for the choir because I was in the gospel choir in college and they were inviting the alumni to sing. I was in a great predicament. It got even more complicated because I wasn't sure if I should go to the rehearsals; if I was singing, it made sense, but if I wasn't going to sing then it would have been a waste of time and highly inconvenient. Anyway - I decided to go to the rehearsals that I could make and I talked with the choir director and I can do both!! I can attend a bit of the party and sing in the concert. You probably don't understand how happy that makes me, but it's a big deal.

To top it off I had this really interesting conversation with a new choir member who I hardly know. AND on the way home I decided to swing by the video store to purchase Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married? so that we could watch it. I had been waiting a couple of months for this to come out on DVD - great movie. Anyway, the guy at the video store told me they didn't have any for sale but that I could rent it. Saddened, I went to the New Release section and picked up a copy to rent. I went back to the guy to pay and he was talking to his coworker who was in front of me doing something. When he took it out of the secuity case I just happened to glance to my right where there were sitting two copies of the movie for sale that the other coworker must have just put up. Whopee!!

That's all I got for now. But 2008 is sure looking a lot better than it was a couple of weeks ago. :)

People Suck

I was pretty mad today. It was one thing after another and it kinda snowballed. Then it became all the issues I was mad at, then all the things wrong with society today. Etc, etc. I love the quote - "One person can't change the world, but you can make a dent" from the movie Death to Smoochy. So what will today's topic be? Ahh yes, I guess good ole consideration. I am very dissappointed in how inconsiderate people can be. I am talking about the little things. Like how hard is it to push the door behind you with minimal force when you see someone walking a few steps behind? My biggest pet peeve right now is people's lack of response to emails and phone calls. If I call or email you, the LEAST you could do is call or email me back. If I invite you somewhere and you don't want to go, how hard is it to type two small letters - "no." I'm not even asking for a "no, thank you" just a "no." With today's technological age it is so much easier to be responsible in that manner - you don't have to go and buy a thank you card and a stamp, you can just email someone thanks. Or simply being invited somewhere. I feel like I am always trying to include people in events that I find fun, that when the ball is in their court, they don't even fathom with the smallest consideration, that perhaps, just perhaps, I would like to go. And if you think that I would say no can you give me the courtesy of making my own decisions, seeing that I am above the age of 10? This irks me the most, because it is not in my nature to leave people out - I would like to think that most things are inclusive and everyone should feel welcome, but you're killing me - you want to be invited to things but don't have the same feelings when the ball is on the flip side.

And all of these things that I am mentioning I have been seeing more and more every day. Today I am surprised when someone actually holds the door for me or for an elderly person. It's not that I can't do it for myself, it's that it is nice to see people thinking of things other than themselves. I'm not even talking about men opening the door for women, I'm talking about people as a whole. We've become so selfish and this selfishness is accepted - look out for you and you alone. We don't live in a bubble. You left your bubble as soon as you were born so now you have to realize that there are other people surrounding you and what you do affects other people. You can not blast your music in your headphones because then I can hear it and that defeats the purpose of you listening to your peace and tranquility. Maybe you shouldn't have loud conversations on the bus because I don't really care what you did for dinner last night, and I shouldn't have to care because you are not talking to me. I get annoyed with people in the car who talk on their phones like talking to me has been ruled out. Why are we getting so impersonal? Why can't we respond to eachother? Why do we have to make so many assumptions nowadays - that if I don't reply it means I don't want to go. I'm sorry, I'm used to people not always checking their mail so I've been assuming that if you don't reply you didn't get it. My bad.

I'm just sick of it. I'm tired of people's lacksadasial attitude. People don't suck, it's just that the few that do get to you and make your angry. It's about realizing that while you may be in a hurry maybe the person in front of you has had a bad day too. Maybe they walked a mile with 10 pounds on their back just to buy a bottle of water and it's $1.07 and the only have $1.06. Perhaps the world doesn't revolve around only you. Perhaps the caption was only to catch your attention so that you would read all the way to the end.

PASI - Mexico City

Pan-American Advanced Studies Institute (PASI) Sustainability and Green Chemistry summer school May 29 - Jun 10, 2007





Alright. What you all have been waiting for - my detailed play by play on my trip to Mexico. It was awesome! I had the greatest time. I'm mainly writing this for my own personal benefit, but it's great to share with anyone browsing through.

Day One (Tuesday May 29th)


After hours upon hours of flying to get to Mexico, myself and my two companions, arrive at the airport in Distrito Federal (D.F.), here known as Mexico City. We were really excited. And on my first attempt to speak spanish with a native Mexican, I of course, froze and forgot all the spanish I knew, when it came time to change the money into pesos. Eventually we get to the hotel located in Santa Fe where we are given keys to our rooms. Nice rooms with two double beds and a tv and mini-fridge. Now that's what I'm talking about. The first official event is dinner and here I meet some of my fellow participants at a round table over a buffet dinner.





Day Two (Wednesday May 30th)

My first full day in Mexico. What to expect? Well first things first - breakfast at the hotel. They had arapas (similar to pancakes), eggs, fruit, toast, coffee, most things available for our picking pleasure. I ate with my roommate and we met up with the group to walk to the university. At the university we met others in the conference and were introduced to the hosts and runners of the program. We learned about the 12 principes of green chemistry and endocrin disruptors - there are actually chemicals, namely PCBs is what he talked about (polychlorinated biphenyls), no I'm not going to get all sciencey - keep reading. Anyhow, there are chemicals which can affect your offspring and their offspring and so on, just by exposure to it. It's really interesting. And when people do toxicity studies they often forget to check for this - they usually only check that the chemical is below the lethal level and don't take into account this factor of endocrin disruptors, which the speaker was adamant that they do. One more reason to use greener chemicals - for the safety of yourself and also to reduce the exposure to hazardous chemicals for potential reproductive toxins. Look at DDT, which was banned in the US in 1971. Very harmful chemical.

There were more interesting lectures and then we played basketball/soccer/volleyball outside. Let me tell you -- so Mexico City is 7400 ft [2240 m] above sea level (as compared to Philadelphia, 39 ft [12 m] and New York, 33 ft [10 m]) and the air pressure is much lower than what I'm used to in the states. So playing basketball in the highly polluted, less air circulating, area was hmm . . a challenge to say the least. I was struggling after a quick game of 3-on-3. I switched to volleyball which ended up being less difficult and was a lot of fun.

So then we were off for our first dinner out in Santa Fe. We decided to check out a saloon called Papa Bill's. There were about 18 of us and this is my first dinner in a Mexican restaurant in Mexico. The food was alright. It was great to just relax with the newfound friends and sit back and eat. I drank Fresca, similar to sprite. Good times. This was the real tourist experience with me trying to speak with my limited espanol. Fortunately, I had some nice people nearby who helped with ordering.

Book to check out: Silent Spring, Rachel Carson, 1962

Day Three (Thursday May 31)

Our first lab day. We ran experiments made by Ken Doxsee and others from the University of Oregon. Afterwards I checked out the mall with some of the others. I bought a Cumbia cd that the guy at the store told me was a popular buy amongst Mexicans. I went around the store asking the sales clerks (Te gusta? (Do you like) and pointing to the cd). Back at the hotel there was a pool party. The water was way too cold, and the air for that matter. I think maybe about 4 people jumped in . . .and out. I will always remember trying to play music off someone's laptop and it just not being loud enough.

Links to visit:
http://e.hormone.tulane.edu/
http://www.ourstolenfuture.com/

Day Four (Friday June 1)

More lectures. The memorable part of the school day was probably being assigned our case studies. So we were broken up into 3 groups (A,B,C) and given a problem statement. There was more information in our packet. Basically, a company that makes diapers has the product manufactured by a third-party. They use all natural products but the company discontinues the natural product and makes products using other synthetic products. Customers find out about this and are pretty upset with the company. The company has three choices - they can A) Stop selling the new stuff and wait until a new formulation comes in, which leaves the supermarket shelves empty for some time B) Sell the rest of the new stuff and wait for the formulation, which leaves the shelves empty for slightly less time C) Sell what they have and order more until the new formulaton comes. I was in group A so we had to defend that point. This was actually a real problem and we were to come up with a sales pitch to give to the "CEO's" on Monday. We didn't have much time but we pooled our ideas together and began to work.

Jorge Vanegas from Texas A&M University spoke to us about sustainability and the built environment. He's a very good speaker. Mainly he talked about how we have to build a sustainable environment. We can continue to go the way we are going but it will not be helpful if we are using all of our resources and there is nothing left to build with 20 years from now. We as a society (America, Western Philosophy, The Earth) are used to certain things that are not all that sustainable. We want to get from point A to point B. Does that mean that we all have to drive SUVs with 1 passenger 30 miles from where we live? No! We have to think in terms of means that will last. We are living a "lifestyle of excessive consumption" (Vanegas). It's about using safer materials, renewable and efficient energy, products/systems designed for value recovery, thinking across all design principles. It's about increasing technology without increasing the demand on the environment and our natural resources. It's about using our natural resources in such a way that they can be used again.

We followed with the first poster session of students presenting their work. We ended up at Papa Bill's again for dinner. This time we were upstairs. We ate and then started dancing in the tiniest of spaces. By the end of the night we were doing a congo line around the top floor. I lie to you not!! It was awesome. And everyone is really friendly so we even had some strangers join us.

Book to check out: Crade to Cradle

Day Five (Saturday June 2)

Wow. Up early on a Saturday. Yup. That's what was probably going through everyone's head. Today was similar to yesterday - heard more about sustainability and the built environment. All day long. Then we had the second poster session. We went out for dinner again, but things were different. The restaurant we were headed to was closed because it was late on a Saturday. Boo! So we ended up at Papa Bill's. Again. It was fun. I hadn't been feeling all that great all day Saturday but I was determined to feel better in time for Sunday when we went to the pyramids. And you know me. I ended up dancing. Just a smidge. :)

Day Six (Sunday June 3)

Sightseeing - Our Lady of Guadalupe and the Pyramids. We visited the beautiful cathedrals first (at Guadalupe). It was just amazing to see such a large turnout for mass. They had about 3 Churches in the central location and a vast garden and masses running probably by the hour. I could never do it justice to describe the history so please check it out on google or wikipedia or such. Outside in Guadalupe are tons and tons of merchants trying to sell their stuff. I did buy a purse for 10 pesos - a very nice looking purse I might add. It was neat being down there - kinda like haggling on the streets of NYC. They provided us with lunch where I tasted cactus - it was ok. Nothing to brag about but it was ok.

The next stop were the pyramids of Teotihuacan. Now these were beautiful. The people of Teotihuacan lived before the time of the Inca's and the Mayans. The Sun Pyramid is about 246 ft high, making one of the top three pyramids in the world! The Moon Pyramid is slightly smaller, but still amazing to look at. I climbed to the top of the Sun Pyramid - it probably took me less than an hour with the breaks. It was tough climbing - probably because I'm afraid of heights and the steps were pretty narrow or steep, but it's one of those things you have to do while you are there. Some of the flights did not have a railing so I was focusing on the step ahead of me so that I didn't get disoriented and plummit to an unhappy and rocky falling.

So it was an awesome day seeing the sights in mexico. We went back on the bus where I grabbed a quick nap and then back to the hotel.

Day Seven (Monday June 4)

Presentation of the case studies. Group C won. I really liked Group B who had a spanish interpretor - really good idea for the varied language audience.

Day Eight (Tuesday June 5)

Karaoke

Day Nine (Wednesday June 6)

Freida Kahlo Museum

Sightseeing downtown

Folkloric Ballet

Day Ten (Thursday June 7)

And Inconvienent Truth

Day Eleven (Friday June 8)

Party in Coayaocan at La Bipolar.



Day Twelve (Saturday June 9)


Farewell dinner. Very sad. It was hard to say goodbye to friends that we had made in only two weeks. It is amazing how close you can get to other people. I will never forget this experience.



Day Thirteen (Sunday June 10)

Adios Mexico.

I had a great time at this conference. What I have written here is only a fraction of the things that happened. I can not even dream of capturing everything. Besides the fun and making new friends I really did get to open my eyes in another area of science; an area that we need to be more focused on. Contrary to Western societies fews, and even Darwinism, it should not be survival of the fittest. We do not live in a bubble. We have to think of others when we are doing things - from the car we drive to the chemicals we use. If we pollute the water because we are not drinking it, it will eventually hurt someone else and that will affect us. Droughts in other countries affect us. Loss of ozone affects us. It's not all about money and immediate change. We have to leave something for the future generations. We can not CHOOSE to be that selfish. It's about sustainability. Now and later.

Encrouagement

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

~Marianne Williamson