Tuesday, June 24, 2014

BBD - on Relationships

(Continuing with the Bible Broken Down series, here is my paraphrasing from a sermon.)

Sermon 6/1/14
Pastor John Adolf
Antioch Baptist Church (Texas)

Reverse Can Be A Curse
1 John 2:19

They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us. (NIV)

Sometimes we do things we know we shouldn't too. Some of the tears that you cry are your OWN fault. The scripture says If they were really with us, they would not have left us. But since they left us let them leave. This is for the single people out there. Stop chasing people who do not want to be with you or who leave you when you need them. Four principles of a relationship:

1. If they left you they were not supposed to be there anyway. Love yourself so you can love others. Don't be a mop, broom, dustpan, etc. but tell them that "Because I love me, I can't let you treat me like a prisoner." Let. Them. Leave. Too often time we go after the ex or if we are bored we call up an old friend that had deserted us. Stop doing this to yourself. You deserve better than someone's crumbs, if that.

2. If they left you, their part in your life is over. What's behind you is comfortable. But it's behind you for a reason. if you are holding on to your past you will never graduate to your future. God will not stop you from putting the wrong people in your life. Some of the people in our lives you just have to say to yourself . . ."I put them there." God will let you do it until you submit to Him. Some people's role in your life is meant to be short . . . Don't make it long!!

3. The lesson they've taught you've caught, so move on. Relationships will take you to school. Some people that you like don't like you. If they don't like you when you are broke, they won't like you when you are rich. Learn the lessons, then live the lessons you've learned. Doesn't make sense to flunk the test over and over. Use your notes!!!!! Stop dating the same guy/girl but with a different name. If someone lied to you or was crazy, jealous, or a cheater, recognize the signs and don't do it again.

4. If they don't leave, the promise will not come out. Mr. Right can't come if Mr. Wrong is holding up his spot. Your windshield and your rear view mirror show two different things. Don't go in reverse. That can be a curse.

Let Jesus be there for you and have faith that things will work out.

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Lighten Up

Perhaps someone has called you crazy when you tell them your great idea to solve world hunger. Or maybe you had lofty goals of running a half-marathon and your leg cramped up at mile 7. Time after time of these things happening you may think that its just not in the books for you. But the truth is that you need to lighten up the expectations you are setting for yourself and allow yourself to enjoy the ride there. Running a half-marathon with little or no training will absolutely set yourself up for failure. Why must we always try to boil the ocean? The minute you do your research about the training regimen for running long distances, set realistic goals and push yourself to accomplish those smaller, menial tasks, the closer you will be to accomplishing what you though was your impossible. If something has been done before then it's not impossible, but sometimes we think it's impossible for us, aka 'your impossible.'

As part of the #FedUp Challenge, I recently gave up added sugar for 10 days. Now, anyone who knows me knows how much I love candy and small drops of deliciousness. But I really wanted to go ALL IN and give it a try. In my younger years this would have seemed impossible, but today, I realize that it's not that hard, and in the big scheme of things 10 days is not an eternity. So I got some friends to join for support, and set up my menus and for 10 days I gave up things that I normally would have eaten like Ice Cream, and Chocolate, and the occasional Soda. Besides the obvious benefits of living a healthier diet, this really gave me some perspective on what it is to try. People often set lofty goals at the beginning of the year to lose weight or to do more of X and less of Y, but then when you ask them in December what they did to accomplish that it's very vague as to why it didn't work. Perhaps they joined a gym that wasn't realistic to go to after work or they honestly were not willing to do the things it would take to not have all of the foods that they like.

The first thing to Lighten Up is to be realistic. If you want to bike across the country you must first own a bike, and secondly you need to know how to ride it. If you never save money in your budget to buy a bicycle, than you've already sabotaged your plan. But if you give yourself permission to accomplish smaller tasks and not just the main one at large, than you would have the following on your list:

  1. Purchase a Bike (and accessories)
  2. Learn how to ride
  3. Map out route
  4. Join a bike group
  5. Ride 4-5 miles per day for a month
  6. Ride 30-60 miles per week for a month
  7. Stretch, Eat Healthy, and Exercise
  8. Etc

Not only are you making your final goal realistic, but you are also giving yourself tiny milestones along the way that you can feel good about, so you are less likely to say this is 'your impossible.'

The next thing to do to Lighten Up is move quickly from your un-successes. This one is tough because you never want to feel as though you have given up, but sometimes changing the audience or the way in which you do something is the key to moving forward. A person could try to open up several businesses, but if they don't get customers then they are just pouring money down the drain. Starter costs will be incurred in any type of new business, but sometimes your just have the wrong product in the wrong city, targeting the wrong audience. And you have to be ok with trying different techniques, and finally calling it a wash and starting over.

Thirdly, you have to always remember your motivation. You are going to have to do things that you don't like, no matter how much you love your job or task. If you are opening up a dance studio you are going to have to deal with angry parents and learn how to make the financials add up every night. If you are trying to lose weight you will sometimes be sore after a workout. Starting your own business you will lose money upfront. Going back to school, you will have to study again and have homework and tests. Qualifying for the World Cup (which is going on right now!!!) you are going to have to practice more than you've ever wanted to.

Failure is such a dooming word and concept that we are afraid to even START things because they are our impossibles. But if we Lighten Up about how to accomplish these things and stop trying and just do, we will be setting ourselves up for much more success. Never let people deter you from your dreams, and never let fear keep you on the bench. I love Yoda's saying of "There is no try, just do and do not." Make a conscious choice to 'do' and set up realistic ways for yourself to get there. Lighten Up a little and have some fun along the way.