Stop talking . . . and listen

If you vote red, blue, or 51 shades of gray (new movie out, not trying to get sued), I’m talking to you. I promise, this is not a political rant, but something for all sides to hear, so keep reading. Thank you to my international readers; however, this post is directed at those living in the United States.

The county (USA) is divided and everyone is “yelling” at each other. Friday’s Inauguration is one of the most feared and anticipated events happening. On the one hand you have supporters who are excited for change. On the other hand you have non-supporters who are looking at their counterparts with huge side eyes, like, really? And the world is watching, wondering how this event in US History will affect world relations.

Let’s back up a second, though. I can’t predict the future, and neither can you. So let’s talk about what we can affect. Now more than ever we need to TRY HARDER. I’m not just talking to the Liberals, or just to the Conservatives, but to everyone. This mentality that our way is the only right way is hurting us. We have lost friendships over the last couple of months because people didn’t agree with us. Or people became disrespectful when we said something they did not agree with. What? We have the freedom to believe and speak our minds. It is a freedom that we often take for granted. But with freedom comes much responsibility.

We have categorized people by where they live or what they look like. We make assumptions about the other sides’ capabilities. We are talking and talking and talking, but not listening. My purpose is not to convince you that my side is right and you are wrong. My purpose, is to get you to consider their story.

Globalization has been great for the world. We are able to trade goods and purchase things from other countries that we could not, or chose not, to make for ourselves. But again, anything exploited eventually goes bad. Soon it becomes cheaper to import than to manufacture.  Manufacturing goes down and jobs get eliminated.  People stop going to school for those lost trades, and now you HAVE to import the materials because you have lost the skill to make them. The import country is free to raise the price with no competition. This is no secret and businesses do it all the time. So it’s really unfair to later get upset and add more taxes to this country for just using good business practices.

Just like it’s unfair to claim that immigrants take away all our jobs. First of all, the country was founded on immigrants and it is something that has always been celebrated. Secondly, most of the jobs people claim are taken by immigrants, are jobs they don’t want to do. And if they are jobs they DO want to do, then why is the assumption that the other candidate wasn’t qualified? Many times I have heard ‘the [Black/Hispanic/Asian/etc] person took my job.’ What? If you and I both apply and you don’t get it, why can’t it just be that you were not as fit? The minute a minority and majority party is involved, there is often a raised eyebrow as if to say the minority did not truly earn it. That is a problem. Building a wall instead of addressing the actual issue, is a problem. Paying considerably less money for hard labor is a problem. So we should fix the problem. Not put yet another band-aid over it. The reason the wall is so offensive is because people act like Mexicans are unwanted. Imagine if you were Mexican and living in Texas and you knew that people around you think you shouldn’t be there, when you are a tax-paying citizen just like them. How would you feel?

Consider that your kids are being bombed daily on their way to school and you have to turn off the lights at least once a week, for fear of being seen. Imagine being in a country where someone might try to kill you, just because. As a parent, you would do anything in your power to protect your family; even leaving the place you call home. Refugees are living this life every day. While it may seem a burden to bare the responsibility of taking care of people that are not from your country when your own country has issues, what part of being human is it to ignore someone when you are in a position to help them? What happens when you are the one that needs the help? Immigration reform is a HUGE topic, that I can’t cover in this little post, but I am just pointing out issues that we need to talk about. To look beyond how this issue affects us at home, but to think, what if we were in that position and home wasn’t safe? We can’t protect everyone, but as one of the most developed countries in the world, don’t we have a moral obligation to at least try?

Imagine walking home in the dark on a cold winter night. You have your hoodie on and are minding your business. A cop car pulls up and you are scared. Why should you be scared if you didn’t do anything? Sometimes whether you do something or not is irrelevant. When you see tons of people that look like you being shot and killed for no reason, with no real punishment, you feel as if your life does not matter. That is what Black Lives Matter is all about. It’s not a terrorist group, and the label that caring about a subset of an American group in America would ever be classified as terrorism is more than offensive. Yet, we easily dismiss it with All Lives Matter, which was never excluded. When we consider one another we stop and think of why someone would need to tell me that their life mattered. If we can’t listen, and instead we just get defensive and dismiss what this person is trying to tell us, we are not really trying.

Or instead of a hoodie at night, imagine this person had an hijab in plain daylight. How would you feel if you were scared to wear a baseball cap to the game? Not everyone in any group is bad and to automatically stereotype that they are perpetuates hate. It starts with kids teasing one another and “random” hate crimes. This is a problem we need to address.

Lastly, I want to challenge you to meet someone that looks nothing like you this year. Not only meet them, but have a conversation. Learn the difference between Transgender and transsexual; understand what makes Black hair so unique; get a refugee penpal who had to leave everything they know and love to save their life; talk to someone who voted for the other candidate and truly ask them why; learn about the education system for farm children; research why affirmative action is in place and the socioeconomic gap in minorities; ask an NRA-supporter why they love guns so much; learn a language different from your own so you can understand how difficult it can be; talk to someone 10 years younger and older than you, and find out what is/was “cool” in their day; talk to someone on the opposite religious spectrum as you and find out the basis of their beliefs (or non-beliefs). And finally, something as simple as, listen to a Pandora station opposite of what you normally listen.

There are 325 million people in the United Sates. Surely, we the people, can have some control over our destiny. It can't be just one person.

Here We Go Again

Prompted by the latest event in the news, the shooting of Terence Crutcher in Oklahoma on Friday. My thoughts on what's been going on these last couple months. . .

It is twenty sixteen
and I can not watch the news
Yesterday and now today another
Black person is getting abused
Unarmed, non-violent, doing their own thing
It was them, but could have been me
is what WE ARE ALL THINKING

Here we go again
I pray to God it's never a friend
or family member or self
But it's somebody's son or daughter
The fear is real for this indiscreet slaughter
We are TIRED of the injustice
Of protests that fall on deaf ears


I just finished winning you medals
for swimming, gymnastics, shot put, and what not
You were happily cheering me on
and together we celebrated the red, white, and blue

But now, when black and blue strikes fear
where are you
When I'm walking home in a hoodie
where are you
When my car breaks down and triple A is not there yet
Where are you
because it seems like the only thing I can do
is perform in front of millions
but when I'm all alone
I'm on my own

I celebrate not being in bondage
And what our ancestors have done
but still I have invisible chains
of systematic problems of subconscious and conscious racism
in Twenty Sixteen
whilst we have a Black president

We all have to wear the mask
And I thought by now that maybe I could remove it
But we are all still pretending
you may tan to get darker, but my dark is too dark
my dark is not beautiful, you imply
when my dark is not seen on the television screen
or in plays or musicals
So the only way to get "me" on tv is for
my people to create their own shows
Then you complain why there are no people that look like you in
the Wiz

When I rock my hair au naturale
you imply it's not professional
When I buy some hair and put it atop
you say i'm not being my genuine self
When I wear clothes that snugly fit
you say my curves are inappropriate
When I scream that Black Lives Matter
you SOMEHOW make it about you

So you tell me, when can I win?
Where can I be my authentic self?
How do I stop you from seeing Black and brown
as enemies of black and blue
What is the solution that you propose?
How do we all get along?
In more than just sports and song

Tell me when I can start watching the news again
And not seeing a potential friend
Being attacked with no remorse
and no repercussions

Tell me when I don't have to avoid social media
just not to feel depressed
When living in the free world
but we are under distress

Tell me when it's ok for my little boy
to play with a toy gun in the playground

And lastly, tell me the last time YOU had to write a poem
because you are filled with so much emotion about
what is going on with your race in your own home country.

Lack of acknowledgement that there in fact is a problem,
is part of the problem.

Wake up!

It's not about The Cup

So, originally, I was going to comment on this video here, which has become a media upcraze. In short, Josh Feurenstein, Christian Evangelist, has attacked Starbucks for removing snowflakes and reindeer and other symbols which are often linked to Christmas, and says that Starbucks has, as society has, continually watered down Christianity, and he's tired of it. The rebuttal came from Pete Dominick, political talk show host.

Immediately the debate is a wash because Pete calls Josh a bigot because he is anti-gay, and therefore all of his opinions are invalid. Again, we are not even discussing the topic at hand. So, while I don't support Josh or Pete, there are some interesting points on what commercial stores are doing that I think I'd like to take the time to voice.

****Again, I am no longer talking about Josh's rant; just the idea that this could possibly bother someone

The Starbucks cup is red because it's Christmastime. Let's face it. Let's stop kidding ourselves. If it were February, the cup would also be red. But I can guarantee the lid would not be green. If the cup were blue and white at this time of year, we'd presume that is for Chanukah. So, while Starbucks can say that everyone is able to celebrate in their own way, you made it red and green on purpose, because people like to celebrate Christmas. As a Christian, does it bother me that they've made the cup blank? Sure. If you are going to make it red and green then just go all the way. But, I'm not going to waste timing fighting that fight. I do think there are more important fights to fight. But someone standing up for what they believe and pointing out that fact is not necessarily a hateful person. (Generally speaking).

Stores want to rename the tree. I will not call it a Holiday Tree. It's a Christmas Tree. All around the country they are banning it or renaming it. Why? How does my celebrating a holiday offend you? You could just not shop at that time if you hate hearing holiday music, but you do want to take advantage of those sales . . . . I don't get it. But it bothered someone and they put up a fight. And it offends me that you want to rename it. But apparently the minority's voice doesn't matter.

You can walk around half-naked on the beach, but whip out a boob at the mall and you can get arrested. Public breastfeeding. Taboo. How does this relate? If we take the religion out of it, since it's such a touchy subject, the true matter is society telling us what is and is not ok. People not being able to celebrate their holidays and traditions because people who don't celebrate them are offended.

We ARE becoming a society where anything goes. Look at how tv and radio has changed in the last 20 years. The words you can say that you couldn't even bleep before. Who cares for those who get offended? It's a hypocritical situation, if you've never seen one before: "I'm going to curse and swear and do whatever I want on tv or radio, but you can't have your Christmas Tree, because it offends me."

Interesting. Are you really listening to what's going on? At some point, you will become offended. There will be some topic - race, religion, freedom of speech, technology, taxes, tuition, childcare, social security, pension, 401(k), road repair, food ban, smoking, where you will not be a 'them' And no one will care. That is the true problem. The people crying "offended" don't care if they offend you.

That, is the true issue. We have freedom of speech so that everyone's voice and opinion counts. Let's remember not to dismiss someone because they base their opinion on religion or something that you don't necessarily agree with.

It's not about the cup.

Food for thought.