Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Never the Same

We're at that age where life is really what you make it. At this point, the things that happen, and the decisions that you make can change things forever. To the point where they will never be the same. It's scary actually.

I hate this - feeling as though one thing can alter your life. Whether it's family related, having kids, getting married, starting over, moving, starting a new job, quitting an old job, pursuing your dream . . . you have to figure out if you are doing what you want to do, if you are settling, or if you are taking a stupid risk. If you are single/not married and don't have kids then the decision is not as impactful, but imagine that you hate your job and you are married with kids. You can't just decide to stop working to pursue your art degree; you have to think of your family.

I see so much going on that it really is scary. There's no "Undo" button. Friendships are ending over the stupidest stuff. Sometimes its our pride, sometimes it's as simple as saying sorry. But people get tired of always being the one to cave or get stepped over. Sometimes there's a long lost family member that you have spent so much time trying to forget how they hurt you that rekindling anything with them seems pain-stakingly awful. Or there is someone that you are recently learning that they even exist that you have to think - do I really want to invest the time AGAIN? Is it worth it? It's already been 10+ years.  

There are no quick fixes, as we'd like there to be. You just have to do the thing you really feel is best. Sometimes, if your personality suits, then you take the calculated risk, and whatever happens you are happy that you decided to do it, even if it fails. I ask myself have I ever taken that type of risk? If not, why not? What is it that is holding me back.

I did take a risk, about 3 years ago. It was the scariest thing I had to decide to do. But when all was said and done my happiness was much more important then fitting a mold or doing what everyone else was doing. But there are more risks I'm scared to take. Some of them I might try, but others, well, will they fall by the way side? 2010 has been the year to try new things.

And it ain't over yet . . .