The Tutor's Dilemma

First of all STANDING OVATION to all the teachers out there!! You guys are shaping our future, and it is definitely not easy.

Easy is an understatement. Here's my story:

I signed up to tutor as a volunteer through my church. You don't really find out too much about the student, just their name and what grade they are in. So we had our first session and I met with him and his mother. We'll call him Daniel. So he's a 13 year old in the 6th grade.

Week One - we reviewed his progress report and looked at the subjects he was having trouble in. I asked that they bring books or homework next time so that I know what types of things he's doing in school.

Week Two - No books or homework. This kid comes empty handed to tutoring. Ok, this is mind boggling to me, because what exactly am I supposed to tutor you in kiddo? So somehow he said he was taking Spanish class, so I started doing basic Spanish with him. We practiced counting to 20 and telling time. This gets a little tricky because I wasn't sure how much he had learned, so I really wanted to help with things he was learning in school, rather than teach him more advanced things.

Around this time I started venting to my friends. I was encouraged to not give up on this little inner-city at risk youth, because I could be the one that helps him. And someone asked me - "What does he want to do when he grows up?" and I had no clue. I guess I hadn't bothered getting to know him and what he wanted to do. Note to self.

Week Three - Still no homework or books. Honestly, at this point I was pretty ticked off. I'm driving out of my way to help this little brat and he doesn't have any homework or books with him. Seriously? So we do some more math that I make up, but I'm not really feeling like I'm helping him because I have no idea if he's even learning this stuff in school. But keeping in mind with what others had suggested I started asking him questions about what he wanted to do when he grew up. Of course - he wants to play basketball (Why is this every little Black boy's dream?? argggg). I asked him what position he plays and he told me center. Well he must have short classmates because he wasn't that tall. So I ask him what else he likes "I don't know" - the all too common line I was soon to hear for weeks.

Week Four - It's a new year. I want to start fresh and put back what happened behind us (I was pretty upset with his mother for not sending him with homework/books/etc). So we meet and he FINALLY has brought some work!! I was holding in my joy and giggles until I saw that he was a handout that the substitute teacher gave out. Oh well, this is what we work on. So it's an assignment about the life cycles of animals and plants. I made him read the page out loud and then we STRUGGLED to answer the questions. Each time he writes down something he puts the pencil down, as if he doesn't know that he needs to finish the WHOLE page. And then he's guessing. You remember in 6th grade how the answers were in the paragraph; you just had to find the sentence that had the question in the form of a phrase. So we go to answer the questions and he's saying words that sound like they would be the answer and looking up at me for confirmation. So I tell him to stop guessing and if he's not sure he should reread the paragraph. So that was a grueling hour. All the while he's giving me this attitude like I don't want to read this; I don't know the answer; I don't want to be here. At some point he says I want to do Spanish and I say well you did not bring any Spanish homework, so we are going to work on what you brought. (My tone here is merely frustration. I was nicer to the kid).

Week Five - We had a week cancelled due to the snow, so this was this past Wednesday. I had told his mother he was not cooperating so nicely, so she decided to sit in on the tutoring session. I know she meant well, but I'm not sure it was the best idea. Firstly we had actual 6th grade homework - math word problems, so for the first time I actually know what he's working on. Secondly, his mom had given me a workbook to work on with Daniel whenever we had spare time. So the word problems are not that difficult, but again I'm not sure how the teacher does it so hopefully I'm not confusing the kid. The problems are as such:

There were thirty airplanes in the sky that day. Four-fifths of them were blue. How many were not blue?

So there are two ways to do that problem. We know that 1/5 are not blue, so take 30, divide by 5, and you get 6. But there's another way. 30 times 4/5 would be the number of blue planes (24), so then 30-24 is the number that is not blue = 6. Anyhow, this is just an exercise in interpreting the problem into numbers and then doing the math. So I walked Daniel through the problem, always making him write on his paper. So after 3 problems you would think he would kind of get the hang of it. Nope, not really. And at this point I don't know if he really just doesn't get it or is it because he's not trying. Mind you it doesn't help that his mom is there also answering the questions (out loud) and then he repeats what she says. I would silently shake my head at her and then continue to ask him the question. And then she would tell me that he's lazy and I really don't like people talking about their kids right in front of them. So I respectively nod and go back to the kid and say ok let's try this. I will have to talk to her about that on the phone.

Anyhow, he tried so many excuses to not do the work. He asked to go to the bathroom. Normally I would say yes but his mom was there so said "no, you can go when you are finished." I noticed that he did not use the restroom before they left to go home, so it had been just another tactic (Note to self). He was constantly rubbing his eyes and leaning back in his chair like he had better things to do. And then he mumbled to himself, but loud enough for us both hear, "I don't want to be here."

So that's where I am with this kid. I'm not vested. I could stop tutoring him anytime I want, but I really feel like there's a way to get in and then once that happens it will be better?

So I posted on facebook that I needed my teacher-friends' help. Here are some of the tips I got:

• A couple comments on how you can't tutor someone that doesn't want to be tutored
  True, but little kids/teens need to be guided. They don't know what they need yet, so just because they don't want to do their homework doesn't make it an option. In college you can choose not to do your homework, you're an adult
• Find out what he's interested in and related the schoolwork to that
  Great idea. So I know he likes basketball and skating. More on that later, I thought of a possible activity
• Search online for information. Maybe he's afraid of failure. Try books at the library. Also, you could try talking to the teachers
  Great ideas!! So I looked online and found some interesting videos and games that we could play (assuming I can get WiFi on my laptop at the church. Or at least I could suggest the websites to his mother. I probably wouldn't talk with his teacher, since that is really something his mother should do. I was also able to find curriculum of schools in this state (not necessarily his school) and that was very helpful to see what they are learning in other subjects
• Disguise learning into games
  We are on to something people!!
• Relate it to rap
  Ok mad respect to the teachers on TeacherTube.com. I found some hilarious stuff on there. And then I saw some videos from School House Rock - do you guys remember that? That was great, so I will definitely be utilizing some videos. As for me and rapping about fractions? Ha! We'll have to see about that.
• Offering Rewards
  I will consider this but it becomes iffy when I'm buying things. I could give him fake money each time he gets something on his own; then at the end of the school year if he has enough fake money he can have a basketball or something? I think those are only 10 bucks or so. (Although this is a whole different topic on bribing kids to succeed; when does it become hurtful?)
• Another friend suggested I showed him "Scared Straight," a tv show that used to take juveniles into prisons and basically have the inmates rough them up and scare them.
  I watched a couple of the episodes and well, wayyyyyyyy too much profanity so unless I find a censored version, I won't be able to do that.

So I love that so many people gave me their ideas. I did some more research online and came up with some other options. Tell me what you think - I will be using some of these this next Wed.

• He doesn't want to do his homework. He wants to play video games and basketball. So how about I pull a reverse psychology Bill Cosby trick and tell him ok, then we won't do homework today. If you want to be a basketball player you have to practice for hours a day. And then take him outside (well I'll watch him from the inside) and have him practice dribbling for an hour with his left hand in the cold. (muhahahahah. Ok sorry, not but really this is an idea).
• I made a list of jobs that I found online (These are all powerpoint slides I made).

  

  There are about 5 jobs on the list that you don't need a high school diploma for - because if he doesn't finish 6th grade he won't get into high school. Working at McDonald's or serving tables or driving a taxi cab. Max salary is about $23,000/yr. So then I'm thinking I show him that list. Then show him some cars that he might want to drive when he's older. Lastly I ask him to choose where he wants to live and he can choose the type of dwelling space. The whole point is to show him that he needs to make more money to buy the that he likes, and in order to do that he has to finish 6th grade. If that's not as tangible then I was going to have him furnish his house and go through IKEA ads and stuff so that he could pick out his furniture and decorations. We'd also go through the grocery circulars and maybe that would help him realize how much stuff costs.

• The next idea was to pretend he was a high-paid basketball player and give him fake checks for $500,000. Then I tell him that 1/5 of that money goes towards his agent and he gets to keep the rest. Then he makes out a check to the agent. When he forks it over and gets it wrong I show him how even if he's a basketball player people can steal from him if he doesn't know basic math. If he says then he'd do it in his calculator then I whip out the calculator and hand it to him. If he says that he'd hire someone to check the numbers then I would tell him that they would steal from him too and there's no way for him to check it.
• Lastly I can show him the youtube videos and raps on fractions, although that might not work if I can't get onto the internet at Church. So I don't want to count on that.
• Additionally, I think there are some things he can do at home that would help, but I don't want to offend his mother. For one, when I was in 6th grade I got to watch tv for an hour and then I had to do my homework. If he's not doing his homework then he should not have privileges such as playing video games, watching tv, or talking on the phone. I don't think his mom can check his homework (which is a downside) but she can at least see that he shows his work.

Ok that's if for now. Let me know what you think I should do for Wednesday. And I'll keep you guys informed of how this goes. Hopefully he will not be a statistic and we can reach him!