We're at that age where life is really what you make it. At this point, the things that happen, and the decisions that you make can change things forever. To the point where they will never be the same. It's scary actually.
I hate this - feeling as though one thing can alter your life. Whether it's family related, having kids, getting married, starting over, moving, starting a new job, quitting an old job, pursuing your dream . . . you have to figure out if you are doing what you want to do, if you are settling, or if you are taking a stupid risk. If you are single/not married and don't have kids then the decision is not as impactful, but imagine that you hate your job and you are married with kids. You can't just decide to stop working to pursue your art degree; you have to think of your family.
I see so much going on that it really is scary. There's no "Undo" button. Friendships are ending over the stupidest stuff. Sometimes its our pride, sometimes it's as simple as saying sorry. But people get tired of always being the one to cave or get stepped over. Sometimes there's a long lost family member that you have spent so much time trying to forget how they hurt you that rekindling anything with them seems pain-stakingly awful. Or there is someone that you are recently learning that they even exist that you have to think - do I really want to invest the time AGAIN? Is it worth it? It's already been 10+ years.
There are no quick fixes, as we'd like there to be. You just have to do the thing you really feel is best. Sometimes, if your personality suits, then you take the calculated risk, and whatever happens you are happy that you decided to do it, even if it fails. I ask myself have I ever taken that type of risk? If not, why not? What is it that is holding me back.
I did take a risk, about 3 years ago. It was the scariest thing I had to decide to do. But when all was said and done my happiness was much more important then fitting a mold or doing what everyone else was doing. But there are more risks I'm scared to take. Some of them I might try, but others, well, will they fall by the way side? 2010 has been the year to try new things.
And it ain't over yet . . .
It's so hard to decide if dreams are too risky or if you would regret it if you never did it. If you should hold on to a painful relationship. If you should stay where your friends are or move to where YOU want to be. The questions are endless...and i'm having a hard time finding the answers.
ReplyDeleteI know just how you are feeling! Its so scary but its also kind of exhilarating, don't you think?
ReplyDeletei agree amanda! sometimes I see the sky at night and wonder what the god who created such an intricate image and world has planned for me? and the thought overwhelms me because not only and i looking to the future but I'm wondering what steps I will take to carry it all out??
ReplyDeleteand then I start thinking of what I'm doing right at that moment and what I'm not doing and I get in this crazy, overwhelming, thought process of creativity and dreams that consumes me and I have to sit down and just pause. hahaha
life is amazing but I just pray that I can know what my calling is and feel that I'm contributing somehow in the way that pleases God and fulfills that longing to DO WHAT I WAS MEANT TO DO.
of course I'm sure I will be stumbling along the way like always :)..
i liked this post!! keep em coming :)
it's okay if you take things one at a time. not everything is a major fork in the road or will change everything about your life. everything adds up. good small decisions are what really matter.
ReplyDelete@SavedThruLove
ReplyDeleteWe are actually alike in that way. Sometimes I get to thinking and thinking so much I have to sit down and take a break for a minute.
@thebigshowatud
Your comment could have been for me too because I treat every little decision in my life as if it is a major fork in the road. I just need to slow down and take it easy.
Thanks for this post becuase sometimes I feel exactly the same way. And I don't have any kids so you would think it's easier for me to take risk and follow my dreams, but it's not. I'm a scaredy cat....
Bree
Peace and Thanksgiving