Lust, Trust, and so much more!

Where do I begin? Hmm ok well I will start with lust. This is going to be a personal post, so you'll get to know a little more about me and my train of thought. Ok, I guess you said around 5th grade I started noticing boys - and I mean as more than getting rid of mice. They were different, cute even; well the ones that didn't have cooties. And as the years progressed there were some head turners. Even now, I have to check ring fingers. Not because I'm looking, but just because. So my first question is, when is it lust? You see that gorgeous guy from across the room and you make eye contact. Someone makes their way over and a simple "hi" leads to a desired conversation by both parties. That is the physical attraction. You talk and talk but are somewhat caught up in appearances. They could say they counted paper clips for a living and you would smile and laugh at their every joke. (not that there is anything wrong with counting paper clips, just an example). So do you like them? Can you really infer that from a shallow conversation that was built on how the person looked? Is that lust? So the two of you agree to go out and get to know eachother better. This is where a possible friendship could start. Now two things could happen if you find out you aren't compatible. You could find out that you just aren't compatible and end it there or you "see it through," trying to make him/her fit into your profile or standards. And we do that lots of times, because we lustfully want to be with someone even though in the back of our mind (sometimes the far far far back) we know that they aren't the one for us - whether it be their beliefs, values, hobbies, location, etc. Well that ties me into my next topic. Because I'm surrounded by "potentials" - you know those guys that just look good, that you could "make it work" with. It's horrible, really. I think that I am being tested (by God). Because as of late I have run into beautiful men who just aren't right for me. And it's really really hard not to go after water in the desert, ya know? But I know that if I did, it would be for the wrong reasons, for the physical attraction, or the laughs, or just to hangout - not that there is anything wrong with hanging out. But I would be leading the guy on if I tried to make it into something more than it's not. And you're probably thinking, well how can that be a test. Well let's see, right and left my friends are getting married, Valentine's day is around the corner, and all that jazz. So I'm trying not to get caught up in the hype. Not letting phone calls mean more than they are, or good conversations have to spark more than friendship. I think that we sometimes get caught up in what the person has to offer, rather than the actual person. I graduated college and spaces that those people used to fill are now being filled during a good conversation, and you think that means something, when really it doesn't. So, I'm going to trust that God has more in store for me and lay back and relax.

Hehe this was all sparked during a conversation at swing dancing. lol. But an old friend has come back into my life and I'm getting closer with newer acquaintances/friends. This is why you gotta love life. There's so much unexpected.

Alright that's it for now. :)