Blog Action Day 2010: Water, Water Everywhere

Well, don't let the title fool you. Remember the saying "Water, Water, Everywhere, but not a drop to drink"? If you've never heard it before it usually refers to someone being stuck on a desert or on a boat in the middle of the ocean. And you are surrounded by water, but it's salt-water, so you can't actually drink it. I mean, technically, you could, but you'd just dehydrate and die. The world is covered in 2/3 water, but not all of this is drinkable water.

Today is Blog Action Day, the day where thousands around the world will post a blog about one specific topic. We'll discuss this topic at different angles, argue different points, but most of all get a discussion going on a topic that affects hundred around the world. Maybe it will provoke someone to discuss this with their colleagues, or fundraise, or travel in search of helping less fortunate people. Somehow, some way we hope to make a different and positively impact our world community.  

So for those new to my blog my angle is this: I like to find the silver lining in everyday things in life, point out the obvious and not so obvious things we all seem to do, as well as look at the simple fixes. When talking about such an impacting topic as access to clean water I want to talk about the practical side - what can I, or you, do right now, where we are, to help with this issue?

Yet, I digress. Back to the topic at hand: Water. The United Nations has formally decided that they would like to do something about the lack of clean water available to an alarming amount of people around the world. An estimated 884 million people around the world [1] (and remember the world population count is ~6.9 billion at the moment [2]) lack access to clean drinking water. If you do the math that's 12%!!! That's pretty high. Especially when, in 2009, there were 4.9 billion cell phone subscriptions worldwide [3] ! Where are our priorities?

Imagine going a day without anyone washing their hands. How gross would you feel after sneezing and coughing without a way to clean your hands? Then knowing that other people were doing the same thing. Maybe someone gives you a hug, or a kid climbs up on your shoulders. Maybe the baby's parents just changed their baby's diaper then went to serve you dinner. And what if you had to ride the subway? And the rats that were scurrying around came to the platform and maybe you saw one on the handrail. And maybe you yourself don't touch the handrail because you know it's dirty, but the guy before you, the guy that pulled the door open with his dirty hand, did touch the handrail. And you were too far behind him to not have to pull the door open. So now you have all kinds of germs all over your body. All you want to do is go home and take a shower, or even get to the nearest bathroom and scrub your hands clean. And this is the non-graphic version. What if that was your lifestyle because you didn't have another way? Maybe it's hard to imagine it here in the US where people are taking 20 minute showers 2 times a day, and swimming in their individual pools in their backyards. But imagine it if you will and see that it is a very grim way to live, plus add all the other stresses of normal living like school and work.

Death due to unsafe water accounts for 80% of diseases every year. Without proper sanitation it is nearly impossible to fight off medical ailments from diarrhea, dysentery, hepatitis A, E. coli, Salmonella, and other illnesses/bacteria [4]. One tenth of these deaths may be preventable with better water access. 

The improvements that can be made are life-changing. Just looking at the cycle of changes [4] points out that people would save time from walking to get water if it wasn't so far. Germs would not be so readily spread if the community had washing stations and were taught improved hygiene. Kids could spend more time in school if they weren't walking to get water or out sick because of diseases caused by lack of clean water. Hand-washing is able to reduce water-related deaths by 45% [4].

I'm not here to pose a 10 page report. The facts are there. There are numerous resources if you want to read more on the topic. The point is that we do have a problem. We have recognized the problem, and we (collective we - as in the whole world) need to do something to fix this problem. More often than not the very developed world philosophy is to worry about oneself and not to fix something until it's broke. Well the developing world needs our help. This is a world problem. We can not continue to hog up all the good resources and not offer it, or aid to those without these resources we take for granted.

So what can you do? you are wondering . . .

1. Ditch the bottle. Ahh, this is a hard one indeed, but yes having bottled water is not the most sustainable way to go. Finish those bottles off, recycle the bottles, and invest in a reusable BPA free water bottle.

2. Tap water - it's cleaner than you think. The tap water in the United States is one of the cleanest in the world. But is it cleaner than bottled water? The debate continues, but a study from affiliates of Harvard Medical School show that some water is not that much, if any cleaner than the water out of your kitchen tap [5]. Tap water is regulated by the EPA (Environmental Protection Agency), while bottle water is regulated by the FDA (Food and Drug Administration). Local impurities will differ based on filtration systems, the pipes in your home, etc. So if you are really concerned you can request a water quality report and filter your tap water.

3. Be good to your drains. A big reason we have impurities in the water are highly due to what consumers are throwing down the drain. Pharmaceutical drugs should not be disposed of in the sink or the toilet - bring them back to your local pharmacy. Similarly, unless it's drain-o or something that you drank, you probably shouldn't pour it down the sink. Communities will hold monthly or annually hazardous waste pickups to collect your hazardous liquids to dispose.

4. Take shorter showers. Seriously. From the UN Human Development Report "An American taking a five-minute shower uses more water than the typical person living in a developing country slum uses in a whole day"[6].

5. Fix leaks. A leaky faucet can waste up to 20 gallons of water per day and a leaky toilet 200 gallons/day [7]. That's a total waste.

6, 7, 8, 9, 10, . . . READ, become involved, and make a change. 

Organizations like charitywater.org and water.org help to get wells built and teach about sanitation practices, to prevent water related deaths. There is a petition for the UN to bring clean water to people around the world. And then there are the 5 little things I mentioned on my list. So, now it's your ball game. The world awaits . . .

Works Cited:
[1] UN article - http://www.un.org/apps/news/story.asp?NewsID=35456&Cr=sanitation&Cr1
[2] World Population - http://www.census.gov/main/www/popclock.html
[3] Cell Phones - http://reviews.cnet.com/8301-13970_7-10454065-78.html
[4] Water - http://www.charitywater.org/whywater/
[5] Tap Water - http://www.brighamandwomens.org/healtheweightforwomen/special_topics/intelihealth0804.aspx?subid=submenu10
[6] UN Human Development Report - http://hdr.undp.org/en/media/HDR06-complete.pdf 
[7] Ways to save water - http://www.nrdc.org/water/pollution/gsteps.asp

Blog Action Day: www.blogactionday.change.org

To Write is to Have Read

It's true, the way to becoming a better writer is to read more. Read different types of writing styles, find authors that you like/dislike. So, I have TONS of books in my library that have looked interesting and I have picked up along the way - I LOVE roaming through bookstores. So now the daunting task is to actually read them.

What am listening to right now? "Parachute" sung by Ingrid Michaelson - she originally wrote it for Cheryl Cole (UK) but when it did so well she decided she'd like to try it herself. I like her version a lot better.

Uber Excitement

Thanks for all the comments on my previous post!! I love your feedback.

Ok, so I feel a little like I just joined a 12 step program:

First there's denial - " I'm ok, I'm really ok "

Then there's anger - "People suck!! "

Then there's acceptance - "Everything will be ok."

So maybe my last post was an angry jab at the sucky people in the world (step 2), but now I've accepted it and I'm moving on. (Ok, maybe it's more like a 3 step program). I AM the new girl in town - on my own little island. 

I can do just about anything I want - I can visit various organizations and stay if I like it and not go back if I don't. I was VP of an organization before - here I have no responsibilities just yet, so its all about finding what's right for me. 

Now to the fun part. I am so excited to try all the new things that I've just realized I could do. I am a big supporter of Meetup.com - if you've never checked it out it is a Great (and Safe) way to meet people when you are the new person in town. (Summary of meetup - it is not a match making site. It is for people to meet with others who like doing the same thing; i.e. if you like baseball but have no one to go to the game with you find a baseball meetup, and suddenly you have people to sit with; or if you want a gym partner, someone to try new restaurants with, someone to go to the movies with, etc, you just find a group on the website that fits your need and you meet those people in a public setting).  So, through meetup, I am finding tons of things that are going on within a 30 minute radius of where I live. And this is an improvement than the 60-90 minute radius I had before.

So I'm excited to go to Zumba, and try a pottery class, learn what permaculture is (something to do with plants I think), learn Japanese, watch foreign films, try tap dancing again, kick someone's butt in kickboxing, write a novel, become a mentor to a child, build a house;  the possibilities are endless. And of course there's the good ole wide world web and Google. So there's so much to do that getting out there and trying it is the only logical option.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. So I choose to think that this whole weeding out process and going through these hard lessons over the past 5 years, has only taught me the skills that I will need in this new process. Of learning who you can and can not trust, about the people that will say one thing and do another, or of the people that will use and abuse just to refuse. So everything is an incredible lesson, and that is what I choose to take from it.

I am woman world, hear me ROARRRRRR!!!

Photo: Paradise Island in the Dominican Republic
(All photos are mine, unless cited in credits)

Too much Effort

I'm basically done . . . with making all the effort. I've used this year to reflect on things and the ultimate conclusion is that people are basically selfish. They take and take and take until you have nothing left to give. And I love to give, but I'm not a rag that you can squeeze. So I'm done. I'm done making all the effort, initating all the conversations, done caring about your problems, when the minute everything is going right for you forget about me; can't even ask me how my day is going. And I thought it was my imagination and that maybe I was being harsh, but nope, after waiting months it's as clear as day. Everyone is concerned with their own little self-bubble. And when they need help or want a favor they are as nice as can be. Once they get what they want good luck even borrowing a bead of sweat.

This social network age doesn't help - being bombarded with facebook updates that I could care less about (like 'I broke a nail') almost makes you immune to news; that even when you hear of good things going on in the world you are just on information overload. So I've learned to delete people, because I don't need to be facebook friends with everyone, not the acquaintances who hardly talk to me, or the people you meet once at a party. We've just gotten so used to being in the know. Well maybe I don't want to know what you are doing if you don't care enough to ask me what I'm doing.

Life is too short to waste effort on people or things that are counterproductive.
'Never make someone your priority when you are their option' (someone).

I'm done making YOU my priority. I love doing it, but all I am is an occassional optional if you are bored, so yeah, no more miss nice girl!

Never the Same

We're at that age where life is really what you make it. At this point, the things that happen, and the decisions that you make can change things forever. To the point where they will never be the same. It's scary actually.

I hate this - feeling as though one thing can alter your life. Whether it's family related, having kids, getting married, starting over, moving, starting a new job, quitting an old job, pursuing your dream . . . you have to figure out if you are doing what you want to do, if you are settling, or if you are taking a stupid risk. If you are single/not married and don't have kids then the decision is not as impactful, but imagine that you hate your job and you are married with kids. You can't just decide to stop working to pursue your art degree; you have to think of your family.

I see so much going on that it really is scary. There's no "Undo" button. Friendships are ending over the stupidest stuff. Sometimes its our pride, sometimes it's as simple as saying sorry. But people get tired of always being the one to cave or get stepped over. Sometimes there's a long lost family member that you have spent so much time trying to forget how they hurt you that rekindling anything with them seems pain-stakingly awful. Or there is someone that you are recently learning that they even exist that you have to think - do I really want to invest the time AGAIN? Is it worth it? It's already been 10+ years.  

There are no quick fixes, as we'd like there to be. You just have to do the thing you really feel is best. Sometimes, if your personality suits, then you take the calculated risk, and whatever happens you are happy that you decided to do it, even if it fails. I ask myself have I ever taken that type of risk? If not, why not? What is it that is holding me back.

I did take a risk, about 3 years ago. It was the scariest thing I had to decide to do. But when all was said and done my happiness was much more important then fitting a mold or doing what everyone else was doing. But there are more risks I'm scared to take. Some of them I might try, but others, well, will they fall by the way side? 2010 has been the year to try new things.

And it ain't over yet . . .

Just Do It!

Funny how your brain and your heart fight sometimes. Logic has no place in some decisions. Yet it rules common sense - let's do the thing that hurts the least number of people, or that makes it easier on everyone. Everyone else, that is. Anyhow, I'm tired of making decisions, of thinking about what if I do this or what if I do that. Sometimes no action is an actual powerful decision and harder to do than doing something. So, I went dancing!! On a Tuesday. And it was awesome!! It was great - I had so much fun, danced with some cool people, listened to a live band (check out the Jazz Lobsters) and just had a blast -not thinking.

So, the cure is dancing, lol. Point blank.

:)

Series of Fortunate Events

I am a big believer in coincidences. I love when things happen in such a way that you are like, dag, that was awesome - if I hadn't been there at that particular time, so and so would not have happened. But sometimes these "coincidences" are not coincidences at all; sometimes they are so well orchestrated that it MUST be the BIG GUY trying to tell you something.

And so here is my story. I am the new girl in town, you could even say a small fish. I moved from somewhere where I knew a lot of people and had built a network over a couple of years, to a town where I know No One. My closest friends are at least 25 miles away. Or. So. I. Thought.



Coincidence #1 - I'm driving home one day from my parents house after the weekend and I'm listening the radio, but not really in the mood to listen to music. So I decide to call someone (since I invested in a hands-free bluetooth). Well I'm scrolling through the list of people and there's people that you just talked to that you really can't call; then people that are more work related that you don't really chit chat with, etc. So I scroll upon Tiffany's name, and I haven't seen Tiffany since I graduated college. We had talked a while ago, but it really was a WHILE ago. Anyway, I call her and interestingly enough she answers, which allows me to tell her where I moved to, which allows her to tell me that she's 10 minutes from there, which allows 30 seconds of girlish screams, and then we could awesomely meet. So that happened and I'm really glad that she's here and I have a good friend in the area.

Coincidence #2 - A couple weeks later I was again driving from my parents home, back to my place and I was on the phone with two friends of mine from my prior residence. Well then put me on hold to order food and I see this guy as I'm parking. He's holding a tennis racquet. He was just about to jump into someone's car (and I still hadn't put my car in park yet) when he forgot something and went back to his car, which gave me enough time to park the car and get out. So before he got into his friends car and I was never to see him again, and since I was on hold, I asked him if he played tennis (obviously he did, but c'mon I needed some ice breaker) and where the courts were. And I asked him if he'd like to play sometime. We both said yes and went about our business and then realized we'd have to exchange contact info - so we swapped numbers. And I've played tennis with Tennis Dude and been able to hang out and meet some other people.

Coincidence #3 - I've been finding out a lot of things to do via the internet. Well, there was a game night that looked pretty interesting. I told a friend about it but she was not available, so I went by myself. I had a great time and met a lady who told me about her Church - which I visited today (see Coincidences 4 and 5). I had a fun night - played spades (I'm pretty good!!), dominoes, jenga, and of course Taboo. Well on the way home I got lost getting to my parking lot - walked down the wrong street - then I got lost in the parking lot and had trouble finding my car (stupid split levels). Then while driving home my gps took forever to load so I was driving aimlessly trying to find a large intersection to get my bearings. Eventually the GPS decided to work and I got into my development to find a woman in a brightly colored, rememberable, top. She was at the game night that I just left!! And her and her friend were walking out of their car just as I pulled out - so had I come earlier or later, I would have missed them. Turns out we are next door neighbors!

Coincidence #4 - At Church today where I expected to know no one, a coworker spotted me and said hi. It was comforting to know someone, and she saw me after the service because we both decided to go downstairs. If I had just left she definitely wouldn't have seen me, and I didn't see her, so it was another coincidence for her to even spot me.

Coincidence #5 - A woman approached me and asked me if I was someone names so and so and I said no. Hours later I'm on my online group and see that she was the same woman who had organized the game night. Turns out she pronounced my name wrong, so I was who she was looking for (kinda like asking a Laura if they are Lauren).

Coincidence #6 - Today at the Church they were celebrating some things and there was an author selling and signing her book. Originally I wasn't going to buy one but the topic looks very good and I like to support my community.

So, I said all this to say, that I really feel like I'm being guided and these people that I am meeting I am meant to meet. It's pretty awesome when you realize it's happening. The BIG GUY's certainly got my attention!!





*Didn't think I had to spell it out but each time I say the BIG GUY I'm talking about God, for the slower audience members, lol.

2010 FIFA World Cup

Ahh, the anticipation. I am watching the World Cup right now, 2:30pm EST. The USA is playing Ghana in the qualifying round. Last week USA beat Algeria (photograph above) in the last seconds of the game, moving us to the next round when almost all hope is gone. The excitement has been astounding.

Now, we play Ghana, who we lost to four years ago in the last World Cup. So the pressure is on for both teams - Ghana is the only African country to move on into the qualifying round (a bit dissappointing since the World Cup is being played in South Africa this year) and whoever wins this game moves on and whoever loses goes home, so USA is in it to win it!

So, I'll update again when the game is over.

Let's go USAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

5:02pm - After some overtime Ghana won - 2:1. Great job USA!!

Photo: http://assets.nydailynews.com/img/2010/06/24/alg_landon_donovan.jpg

Dating in 2010

Dating in 2010. It's much different than the courtship guys and girls were used to in 2nd half of the 20th century. I feel like guys really tried to woo you back then. Now you are being cat called "Whoop whoop, how you doin' shorty?" as if the art of being a gentleman is a long lost trade.

Remember those days of getting or sending a hand written note that said "I like you, do you like me: Yes? No? Maybe?" Something about that naive gesture was actually romantic. And now those handwritten notes have become impersonal, impatient texts.

There was an understanding back then. Guy met girl and they found ways to be around eachother - studying, classes, or even "bumping" into eachother through town. You pursued one person at a time. And eventually there was the talk - do you want to be boyfriend and girlfriend? and a simple yes or no (ok, sometimes a maybe). Fast forward 50 years and look at 2010 - now there are literally millions of places to meet your potential soulmate. Since the 1960s there has been the great invention of the world wide web. We can meet strangers virtually, share pictures, and even have a conversation; all without leaving the comfort of our home. So yes, the method at which we are able to meet these potential soulmates has drastically changed, I would even say improved.

But what about dating itself; Is it any better? I'd say no, definitely. Things are much more different down to the mentality of people in society as a whole. Before when guy met girl; guy and girl were only talking to eachother. There was a period of pursuit. And sure, if he got shot down (or politely declined) he would wallow for a bit over his heart ache, suck it up, and move on. Or girl would wait and wait for said guy to ask her out. She too would experience heart ache when he asked some other girl to the soph-hop. Now, it's not always the guy pursuing the girl, now it's perfectly "acceptable" for the girl to be on the prowl. And don't get me wrong, I'm all about girl power (fist up, wohoo), but there's nothing more charming then the old fashioned way of guy pursuing girl.

Fast forward again and there are so many questions you have to ask nowadays because people have this "don't ask, don't tell" mentality. You may be talking to Nick and think it's a picture of two; when Nick is talking to Becky, Stacey, and Monica; unbeknownst to you. You have to ask if he has a girlfriend. But be wary, if he's married, he does not have a girlfriend,so his answer might be no. You have to ask "Are you married?" "Are you engaged?" "Are you gay/on the down low?" "Are you involved with anyone else?" And that last one is sometimes a deal breaker if you haven't had the talk about being exclusive.

So when Sonya thought her and Nick were dating and he knew she thought that but only thought of her as just a friend with benefits, you get another type of heart ache; an all too common type these days. And even those implied contractual agreements lack the fine print with the "benefits'" packages differing in contradictory non-mentioned strings attached, single parenthood, and communal disease.  Because everyone just wants to have fun!

So maybe I sound bitter; perhaps I've been a player in the game without realizing I had stepped on the game board. It's like a never-ending game of Jumanji. Well, game over, and now I'm starting over - and this time I'm doing it my way. Call me crazy, and maybe I'm dreaming of a fantasy world, but the dating style of the 60s wasn't too far off the mark. 

Meeting that one person and having the deep conversation, not being distracted by a text message or a buzzing phone. Laughing over coffee at the sunset and now worrying about if there is a Becky, or Stacy, of Monica, or even Rick these days. Maybe that's a step in a time machine, but maybe it's not that far off; perhaps newer isn't always better. Or maybe better is some compromise in between. I don't know. No one really knows. I just know have a comparison between present and past and this idealistic cartoon image of what I imagine it should be like. And by should I mean how I want it to be.

So, this is my journey; Journey called Life. And we'll see what works and what doesn't. That is the exciting and exhilarating thing about this thing called life. Unwritten rules, implied emotions, and crazy unpredictability. But most importantly, doing what you want to do and staying true to who you are, regardless of what society is doing.

Personally, I prefer things the old way. But you know what the say, don't hate the playa, hate the game.

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Photo credits: http://h3sean.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/man-pursuing-woman.jpg and http://www.iloverelationships.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/bigstockphoto_Dating_Couple_2436008-300x274.jpg; http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://i521.photobucket.com/albums/w333/okfaissal/slow-dance.gif&imgrefurl=http://s521.photobucket.com/albums/w333/okfaissal/%3Faction%3Dview%26current%3Dslow-dance.gif%26newest%3D1&usg=__ceX9akkl8hlolTZ08oN74lrYcfc=&h=601&w=308&sz=182&hl=en&start=9&sig2=KljbdK7tCh8-u0Uqan__dA&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=j4Xzp0Ks4dPeXM:&tbnh=135&tbnw=69&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dslow%2Bdance%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dopera%26sa%3DG%26rls%3Den%26tbs%3Disch:1&ei=NQogTP-oJMuNjAeK9rjyDw

Getting to the Gym

Somewhere between the couch, utter exhaustion, and sheer laziness I mustered up the motivation and energy to go to the gym. It's funny actually, because I was planning on going, but what really got me there was anger and spite. Horrible ways to do something, but overall had a great affect.

I just moved into a new place so I've got boxes gallore. My last couple of weekends have been spent driving 5+ hours, so I actually haven't spent too much time at home. Then I started a new job as well and I'm tired when I get home and really don't feel like lifting another cardboard specimen. Add that to the fact that I haven't had constant exercise since Dodgeball (yes, I'm an adult and I played Dodgeball) ended a couple of months ago. So part of me wants to wait until I'm good and settled before making any more major life committments. But then the little person on my left shoulder says that I'm just making additional excuses. Right shoulder: go ahead, relax, it's good to take some time off. Left shoulder: fine, relax. Be a blob; but no complaining when beach time comes. So left shoulder wins and I decide to get my booty to a gym.

I tried running and glamorous boredom keeps that from being a fun activity. Sure, it's much better with a friend, but something was seriously lacking for me. Perhaps I really need a good music playlist to make it fun, but ehhh NEXT. Tennis is always a good alternative, but you really need someone else to do that.

So then I moved and decided that running wasn't going to happen (although it has been GORGEOUS outside). So then I thought, maybe I could just exercise with On Demand. Yeah, motivation is NOT there. So then I am hunting for a gym near my new area - somewhere along the road between work and home. And I found something for a really good price. But then someone suggested another place and it's also along the way home from work.

So on Tuesday, coincindentally the day I was supposed to pick up my Tennis Racquet from the store after being restrung, I decide that I will check out this gym recommended by a coworker. So it happens to be in the same plaza as the tennis place. So I decide to pick up my racquet, since they said it would be ready after 3pm on Tuesday.

So I go to the front of the store to get my racquet and the manager goes to "check." What felt like 10 minutes later he passes by me without saying a word and I'm like "Excuse me, did you get my racquet." He's like, "oohh the guy is just finishing it up. It'll be like 20 more minutes." It only takes 20 MINUTES to string a tennis racquet - they obviously didn't start it and I was pretty annoyed with the guys attitude like I should be grateful they are doing it at all. So I'm pretty mad so I decide I will go cool off and get the gym orientation and come back.

I go to the gym and some lady shows me around. This gym is $15 more per month than the other one and I didn't really see any additional perks to going there. They had a bunch of classes pre-3pm - don't these people work during the day? - so that's no good. And you have to sign up for their night classes, which seems like a pain. So after I went through the orientation I had a free guest pass for a week. I was out the door when I decided - what's my rush? I was still mad about my racquet and figured they could wait another hour. So that began my workout.

So amid anger, exhaustion, cramps, and spite, I. WENT. To. The Gym. hahaha. And then I went again today to try their spinning class (since I have a couple days left on the guest pass). Spinning is also not for me - I found it boring as well. Definitely a challenging workout but those tiny tiny bicycle seats are not made for my 'bodacious booty,' quoting an old friend.

And now I'm on a roll!!

Yay!

Zippp a dee do dahhh

Random. I have thankful, content, and simply happy. It is so easy to write angrily when things are going bad or amiss. However, it is important to note these great moments when you are blissfully overjoyed with life. IT's been a great couple of days. The weather has been absolutely spectacular and just getting to see everyone and do different things has been really fun.

Nothing more than to say - great day.

Thanking God for it!

~me

Tying up Loose Ends

I'm not counting down really, but I have about 1 month before everything changes. It's that time again, moving away, starting a new job, making new friends, starting new life habits. And you always have to ask yourself the question - Am I who I want to be? It's a difficult question to answer. Sometimes you are the person that the situation has dictated. If you move to cold Alaska, maybe you will start doing the things that Alaskans do. But are you doing it because you like doing it or just because you are there? The same is true if you are moving from New York City. All those nights of going out on the town - was that because you were in New York and you had to make the most out of the experience or was it truly something that you enjoyed and will want to do no matter where you go? The same is true of the people you meet. Do you enjoy hanging out with your coworkers or do you prefer meeting people outside of work? Those friends that you have that you only watch movies with or only go bowling with, or only go hiking with - are they any better friends than the ones you go to dinner with, or have been to your house? Do you wish you got to know them in a deeper sense?



So, not to get too philosophical, but its these types of questions I'm thinking right now. Fresh slate - now I will be the new fish in a big pond. I can choose everything about who I hang out with, what I do with my free time, how much I exercise, the healthy foods I eat, all that jazz. So now it's really the time to decide - Who is it that I want to be? And is that me?

And in the meantime there's the daunting task of tying up loose ends. Saying goodbye to old friends, and finding closure with the ones that I probably won't keep in touch with. The ones who forgot about you when you were so close that you don't need to worry about as you move further away. The ones who won't call you on your birthday or Christmas or New Year's. The ones who have always been too busy to write or call you back. The ones you just don't have the energy, nor desire, to fight with. The ones who probably don't even know you are moving. Those are the ones you let go.

I'll always be reminded of what my old choir director said - Not everyone can sit in your front row (in comparing you and your close relationships to stadium seating). And it's true, as new people come in there are only select seats for the front row people. And, as hard as it might be to believe, that someone that once held the top spot must now just be another audience member in the aisle, facts are facts.

So tying up loose ends means, moving on from things that aren't positively impacting my life, saying goodbye to bad eating habits and getting ready to cook more, to eat healthier, to exercise more, read more, write more, do all the things that I've put off because I was so busy. It means meeting people and forming relationships with people that are on your same page, heading towards similar goals. Tying up loose ends means getting rid of all of the baggage and throwing away the junk that you don't want to move with, both literally and figuratively speaking.

Like a seed grows to be a plant
We most sow our seeds and wait
For nature to take its time
And allow us to share in its beauty.

So, let's wait to see what happens. And be excited about the future, but first take care of the present and tie up any loose ends.

I'm writing you a 4 page letter

Ok, well maybe it wasn't four pages, but I found this letter today that I had written to a really good friend of mine before moving away. I don't remember if I gave it to him or not, I probably didn't. But maybe one day I will give it to someone,because it's important to tell people how we feel about them, platonically as well as romantically.

Here's the letter, word for word:

Now is no excuse for mushiness. Well . . .ok . . .just maybe a smidge. Somehow writing things down is so much easier than saying them out loud. You can think clearly without eyeballs of pressure staring you down. Drumroll please . . . Nope, this is not a farewell letter. I won't say goodbye, just see you later, but if I never tell people how much they mean to me, now would probably be a good time. As you can see I even stall in my writing. I mean honestly, this could be a potential life-defining moment - you know with the men and women who go on talk shows 20 years later still taunted by the bully that called the fat or ugly? This is HUGE. I have to really choose my words, take out all the sarcasm and ambiguity. Make it plain as day. So, I came up with this: I Love You. But even as I chopped the sentence to contain my subject (you) and verb (love) and predicate (?) (I), it may still render ambiguity. So let me clarify. Firstly, by I I mean myself, the one who wrote this, [Insert name], in case you forgot between me handing you the envelope. And by you I mean You, person holding this letter, owner of letter, and in case this letters is confiscated, name to whom the envelope is addressed. Ok, so the verb was really tricky. How many other words could I put in there - like, adore, enjoy? Care? 'Like' sounded way too middle school crush-esque, which isn't exactly what I was going for. 'Adore' just sounded way over the top - like you would make or break my enjoyment of sunlight, and 'enjoy' just had way too many other (sick) meanings that I wouldn't wish upon interpretation. 'Care' just seemed too light - I care whether my stockings got a tear, and dude you are so much higher than stockings! So that left the word 'Love,' which is often over and misused these days. Love is the hardest word to explain or describe because it has so many meanings - 1) You've go the love your your pet who quietly is always there for you and fun to play with 2) You've got the love of a favorite piece of clothing that makes you feel confident and in control of the situation 3) You've got the love of a distant cousin that you don't really know that well but you know you are somehow related 4) You've got the love of an immediate family member that you have probably shared most of your life with 5) You've got that romantic lust/love thing with the matured middle-school crush, this time in older years 6) There's the love of a significant other whom you can't imagine your life without 7) You have the eternal love of God and all things beyond this world and 8)you've got that self-love hopefully that glows radiantly when others meet you. So yes, there's no better word to describe such a general and specific emotion, all at the same time. So pick a number and you're probably right. But most importantly, I don't tell you this to blush or make you feel good. Really, I share this with you because that's how I've felt and may never have told you. We go through life silently unappreciated and there's no need for that. You're smart, intelligent, humorous (I'll admit it), somewhat attractive (this whole no sarcasm thing is hard), talented, and a myriad of other adjectives. And I think it's no coincidence that we've crossed paths. I know I needed some freshness. This is probably getting long enough where you are skipping words. Don't. I'll soon stop. So maybe you think me overdramatic when you'll probably see me tomorrow, but maybe I just needed a reason to express my feelings to you because you are important to me and I want you to know that as I go take the road to [insert direction]. I've enjoyed the past year with you. I expect great things of you and nothing less (no pressure). Whatever you do that puts a smile on your face every day makes me happy too. So if you ever, ever, for some strange reason, forget about me (like 10 years from now - don't even think about it before then), then always remember me and my letter to you. Good Luck, God Bless.

Love,

me

on Dating

Life amuses me. The most recent topic of conversation was dating. A friend of mine, we'll call her Leslie, was going out with this guy, Sammy. Well first things first, we don't really know that it was a date. Two people agreed to eat food together. Nowadays you never know if that's a date or just hanging out. It's pretty funny actually. So Sam and Leslie met at a mutual friend's house. Then we all happened to be at the volleyball pick-up game and they were on the same team. They got to talking and things just hit it off. He walked her home since no one wanted to get sand in their car, and she offered to buy him dinner as a thank you. As a true gentleman, he declined, but they agreed to go to dinner anyway. Anyway, the night before the "date" I'm talking to Leslie like we're in middle school - you know wondering if this is two friends going out or more, if he's interested or just being nice, etc. And to add complications Sammy was just offered a photojournalist gig in Europe. He took it, but we really don't know when or if he is planning on coming back. Let's just call him a free spirit.

So, dilemma number one is even figuring out the situation, if there is a situation at all. And dilemma two is why get all caught up with feelings if Sammy is going to be in Europe for some indiscriminate amount of time? But then life is happening today and you can't worry about the future and not do things because of what may hapen in the future.

So Sam and Leslie went on their date. It went alright. I think it's too early to judge, but at the same time time is running out. I think he flies to Amsterdam on Thursday. Craziness. What should she do? (Rhetorical, I think the answer is just to go with the flow). Dun dun DunNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. (dramatically)

I said all this to say that this whole dating "thing" is hilarious. The things we do for love. It's fun, it's scary, it's exciting, and it's well . . . it's that thing that makes us human.

The Frustration of Simplicity

I can't help how I feel, even if those feelings are not reciprocated. I can't help it if I hate your favorite shirt or if your biggest flaw is just so irresistible. I can't make you call me back or pick up a pen and write me a letter. I can't get those guys off the wall to ask the girls to dance, just as much as I can't stop the cold and heartless guy from breaking up with his girlfriend through text. It's so frustrating sometimes, but then you realize that you just have relinquish control and it becomes so simple. Maybe I can not help the way I feel, but I can accept you not agreeing with me. And maybe I hate your favorite shirt, but you know what? I don't have to wear it. Maybe I just look at your eyes more intently when you wear that shirt, or I focus on those lovely shoelaces, lol.

I think the point is that when we become frustrated by those things we simply cannot change we have to realize that either we accept people for who they are or we do not. And if you want to be their friend/family member/spouse/etc then you really don't want to change them. It is their individuality that has attracted them to you. And if you decide not to accept them then you walk away from the siutation completely and you don't have to put up with those things you abhor.

So, as much as I hate it, you wear that UGLY shirt. And I'll still love ya!!

*muah*

Have at it

Those three words are so . . . freeforming. But in a bad way. I am an engineer and I am currently taking an art class. We basically are given a blank canvas and told "Have at it" - do what your heart's content desires. It's so unregulated, unrestriced, so very strange. I am used to standards and guidelines. Give me step by step procedures of what to do and where and when. But that's not how art works. I can't tell you how to paint a landscape to make it your own. I can tell you what I would do, and I could even paint with you side by side, but what you paint and what is truly your work, is of your own mind. No one can tell you what your mind sees.

So this concept of freethought and boundary-less abstract space is so surreal. I know what you are wondering - is the paint class really that deep? Haha, no it's not. And maybe it's hard to explain, but I'm not just talking about painting. I'm talking about always having done something a particular way and then one day - BAM! - increasing your view of the world. It's when coloring outside of the line releases some sort of freedom in you, like you never knew that you could stray from the black line. And so I feel like I've conquered another piece of my brain. But most importantly it gives me this feeling that if I can connect with this abstract task, then maybe there are other things that I can connect to that I never tried to do.

So I am excited. Of course my next question is what now? But sorry folks, no rules, no guidelines, no restrictions. Just have at it!

on Leadership

I recently attended a Leadership conference with the United States Junior Chamber of Commerce (Jaycees - find out more at www.usjaycees.org). It was awesome!! I can not begin to tell you how motivated it has left me. 2010 is the year to do all those things we've always said we wanted to do.

I'm in no way going to capture all of the points I learned about, but I'd like to give you all a taste, so that you too can be the person you desire to be. There's only one rule - if something stands out and is really helpful than share it. Because what's the point of having a world of information but only one person knows it?

The motivational speaker for the weekend was Matt Booth (MB). I encourage you to check him out - www.mattbooth.com - he's got some great things to say.

First we learned that attitude is in fact everything. As cliche as it sounds your attitude will affect the way you look at things and that will affect your actions. Think about it. The example Matt used is people saying they hate Mondays. If you think that you hate Mondays then everything associated with Monday will ultimately be negative. For instance a lot of people waste half of Sunday thinking about Monday instead of enjoying the rest of Sunday. So right there you have a couple of hours of these negative thoughts. You probably were a bit laid back with waking up over the weekend so Monday is the first day that you have to wake up early again. You might have forgotten to set up the coffee because you didn't need it on Sunday so now you have to make coffee and you are always late on Monday. You probably come home tired because you didn't get much sleep because your body was used to sleeping longer over the weekend. So now everything that happened gets associated with Mondays, even though they are independent of eachother. See how that works? MB says to continually Check Your Attitude (CYA).

A nice exercise we did was to write down the names of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Now write a (+) or (-) if the person is mostly positive or negative. There's nothing wrong with having a (-) or two, but if everyone that you hang out with for the majority of your time is negative, that is ultimately going to reflect in your attitude and therefore your actions.

We talked about goals and goal setting. The main idea is to write down what you would like to accomplish. It is much easier to materialize something that 'exists' i.e. putting it on paper makes it real. "Things that are easy to do are also easy not to do (MB)." So write down your goals for the year - not new year's resolutions, realistic goals. Be as specific as you need to in order to accomplish it, i.e. instead of saying run more, say run a 5K before July. Once you write down your goals carry them around with you in your wallet or purse, so that you always have them in case you need to remind yourself of why you are going to the gym 3 times a week. Lastly, review your goals once a month. We tend to write things down and have every intention of doing them but we don't look at them again. If you review your goals every month and 3 months have passed and you still aren't reading more, well maybe that really isn't a priority for you any more. And if it is, maybe it's time you pick up a book.

Similar to what they tell you on a plane - in the event of an emergency put your [air] mask on before putting someone elses. Or in simplified terms - In order to help other people you need to help yourself first. Why would someone listen to you if your life is in shambles and you are doing nothing to stop it? Or if are a big goal setter but you never achieve your goals? Take a step back and work on doing the things that you need to be doing.

We talked about professionalism. Image is really everything. The image you portray affects that attitude of outsiders, and insiders for that matter. When we think of the things that are major factors for a professional image they are things like outward appearance, speech/grammar/language, hospitality, organization, and punctuality. It's true. If people look sloppy or are not very welcoming, you are not likely to go back and/or feel comfortable. Obviously this is different for a more casual setting, but what attracts you to a group is first how they appear, so it is important not to sell yourself short from the door. Because then no matter what you say your first impression has already been decided. Things that the group thought showed an unprofessional image were vulgarity, poor grammar, poor hygiene/outward appearance, non-punctual timing, and a forceful or bossy group.

This is only a snippet of the things that I learned but I hope you learn from it and get out there and start making things happen.

:)

What do you know?

I don't know. I don't know where I will be 1 year from now. I don't know what I will eat for dinner tomorrow. I don't know when I will have the time to learn Linus and Lucy before Christmas. I don't know if I will buy a house or stay living in an apartment. I don't know if I will get a dog anytime soon. I don't know if I keep my mouth shut about some things I really want to talk about. And I don't know if I am going ice skating in Rockefeller center.

I just don't know. And the funny thing is, I'm kinda okay with that. For the first time I'm not necessarily feeling the need to plan ahead. I kinda want to just go with the flow, enjoy the here and now, and see where it takes me. I was in a very similar situation not too long ago. Of course the circumstances were different, but I tried to live my life knowing what was going to happen, and the truth of the matter is that you don't know what is going to happen. So why not live the best life you can right now and get to tomorrow when it arrives?

This is all easier said than done and I love to have a plan of attack, but in this particular case it's almost relieving not to have to think about tomorrow. It may come and then you figure out what to do when that happens.

I've got choices. I've got so many options and possibilites. I am thrilled, and frankly downright excited to see how this all plays out. Yup, that is how I choose to feel right now.

*muah* world!

Colin Powell on Diplomacy

I had the privilege of hearing former Secretary of State, General Colin Powell, deliver a talk on diplomacy Tuesday evening (Nov 3) at a local university. Hopefully I can convey his message for those that might not have been able to attend. My thoughts mixed in with thoughts from the talk:

The United States of America is a diverse nation. Throughout the country there are pockets of various cultures - Black, Hispanic, European, Asian, etc. My parents are immigrants. Most of my friends's parents are immigrants, and many people I have met in school have immigrated here. Sometimes for a better life or better way of living, and other times to escape turmoil. And sometimes it's just for a visit to complete schooling or 'see the world.' Whatever the cause, there exists, for whatever reason, a plethora of differences, and, amongst those differences, similarities.

On September 11, 2001 the US was attacked by terrorists. I will put aside any discussion on Iraq, Iran, Pakistan, or Afghanistan, as that diminishes what the point is today. The point being that for however long, we, as Americans, became afraid. We became afraid of people that looked a certain way (Middle Eastern) or were a certain religion (Muslim). And the more ignorant people acted on this fear in ways that are not commendable. Some Americans became prejudiced, almost racist, against Arabs/Muslims/whatever other cultures fit into this box and turned very unAmerican. We got nervous on airplanes if someone fit this description. These people were the ones being 'randomly' searched at the airport. Each. And. Every. Time. I know, I have friends whose last name fits the bill. And this fear caused other countries and people to even wonder if they should come to the US; to think that maybe they wouldn't be welcome.

Add a couple of wars on top of this, and 'those' people killing 'our' soldiers, and the tension and anger increases. And now, 8 years later, where are we? We are in a much safer state than when we started. Safeguards have been put into place to protect us from the threats that were so prevalent before. Powell remarks at how he too was thoroughly searched at the airport. And as annoying as it may be, it is just another way for the government to ensure our safety. Passport and visa laws have been restructured and made more strict. The list is endless. And so now, we, the people living in the United States, can stop worrying about trying to be our own detective and just move on and embrace the American way of life we had before 9/11. And this American way of life includes welcoming others of different culture and backgrounds, and opening up our minds to think of "us" as more than the United States of America, but as a world.

Which brings me to the 4 E's Powell talked about. The first E is empowerment of wealth. I hate money, but lets face it - money makes the world go 'round. We need money to buy food, for transportation, education, clothing, anything you can name. It shouldn't be that way, but that's the way it is. Powell talked about China and how they were a relatively poor country 30 years ago and now are backing one of the most industrial countries in the world (the US). There was chatter a couple of years back about China going to war with, or at least opposing, the US. He said - no way. With nearly every toy in Walmart being made in China, there's no way that they would give up that market. That brings up a pet peeve of mine that the US has lost the toy-making trade, but that's for another blog.

So you have China making toys and gadgets, coffee from Columbia and countries in Africa, oil from the Middle East, and much much more. So there is there huge import/export relationship going on with a ton of countries. And the driver for all of this is - you guessed it, the cha ching ($). So if we want to understand our neighbors and be more diplomatic, we have to understand how everyone makes their living and apply fairness to that.

The second E is for energy. As we (as a collective whole) become more wealthy we are bound to use more energy. More transportation allows us to travel further, using more fuel, more light, more energy in the form of work, more labor to get the parts needed to assemble the vehicles, and just more of everything. We are in a technological age where everyone and their brother is on some type of social media, has a blackberry, and/or has a bluetooth capable cell phone. We are always accessible. We have to dial 10 digits on our phones now because they needed to create more numbers. The satellites and servers are being bombarded with information. This transfer of information requires energy. So the circle of life continues - in order to progress we need to better understand our actual energy needs (versus wants) and become more socially responsible.

This is especially true for the US. We are the highest user of energy in the world, consumer more than our fair share. And changing that has a lot to do with changing lifestyles and mindsets. I don't know how many times I have heard "well I don't have to pay for it" in response to turning off a light switch or faucet. I'm not flawless on this either, but we DO have to pay for it. Whether it's your great grand child, or the extra carbon emissions you've just produced (we won't even talk about stupid carbon credits yet, another blog), you have affected the world but you lazy choice not to do something. And when it's 2 billion people and they just have to have the tv, computer, ipod, blackberry, and cappuccino machine running all at the same time we're making a bigger dent faster than is ever necessary.

The third E is education. I am very adamant about this cause as well, because it is near and dear to my heart. We have too many kids who do not finish high school. Way too many. Everyone should have a basic level of education - even if college is not for a kid and they decide to pick up a trade or something, they should at least be equipped with certain tools needed to live. The high school drop out rate is even worse for minorities. You have more kids becoming statistics than graduates. And society ends up paying for it one way or another - whether its in early teenage pregnancy, or paying to put up another convict in a high security prison, or paying food stamps for the kids who's parents went to jail - so why not pay when you can be preventative, rather than reactionary? Kids need to go to school, parents need to stop blaming teachers, and communities need to have more options than the street and gangs.

The fourth E is for the environment. This goes along with the first two E's pretty well. As we become more industrialized and begin using more energy we need to limit our emissions and be careful of what we are doing to the environment. The earth is changing, and it's becoming more and more noticeable. It's pretty self-explanatory.

So that pretty much summarizes Gen. Powell's talk. I went on a couple of tangents that I hope to expound upon later, but the gist of it all is - war is not always the answer. Oftentimes it is not the answer to solving the violent problems. Violence ensues because of fear. When a dog is fearful of his territory being taken he gets defensive. When countries have their defenses up it is much harder to talk - similar to the fall of the Iron Curtain. We have to meet people where they are so that we can have a more diplomatic approach to resolving these issues. A lot of political problems can be solved by social change, i.e. healthcare reform, and education. If people are more educated they will statistically be healthier (cost less in health insurance), and less likely to commit crimes (cost less in judicial fees and police departments). So one 'simple' change can have drastically positive effects.

I could go on forever, but at this point the choice is yours. What are you doing to be a part of the solution and not the problem? If only 20% of the people do 80% of the work, the world will look very skewed.

What do you Want?

I am forced to answer this question, not because I want to, but because in the long scheme of things it really is the deciding factor in the path I, or one, choose to take. I feel like we have to know what we want and keep that in the back of our mind, or we will be inclined to settle. If you don't have an idea of the magnitude of what it is that you really really desire, than you are bound to accept just anything.

Case in point your first house: if you have never dreamed of what your first house; your first home; would be like then you don't already have the french doors picked out, you have no idea of the fabric of the couches, or that corner seat in the kitchen, or the wood floors in the living room. You would not have imagined having grass in the back, but not in the front, etc. If you have no idea what you want, then you are likely to take what you can get. Sure, you'll look through the housing ads and see what's out there, but you'll probably pick from the pile, rather than holding off and waiting for the one that you really want.

Life is much similar, if I may expound. If you go to college without a major then your whole purpose in that first year, or couple of years, is to see what's out there and what peaks your fancy. However, if you are the kid that wanted to be a lawyer since they were 5, you have a clear-cut vision of where you see yourself. Your first year will be attempting to realize that goal that you had. So we have two very different scenarios. At some point the wandering college kid should be come the focused college kid and have an idea of what they want. If not, then they may be likely to have their major chosen for them, perhaps by teachers who tell them they are good at something, or by grades that indicate the same.

And then there's love. It seems all paths lead to this at some point. You need to have some idea of what you want or don't want so that you don't end up settling. I feel like today's society is all about what they can get quickly, rather than waiting on what they actually want. And I think a lot of that has to do with people's inability to articulate what they actually want. As if defining such a thing binds you to only selecting people whom match you entirely.

Somewhere online I read that there were some main components of compatibility: intellectual, spiritual, social, family, and lifestyle. Compatibility by no means says they have to be on the same page as you or be into the same things; it just means that you both have to be ok with the choices the other person has made in that category. So if I am a rocket scientist and I only want to be with rocket scientists, then what's the point of going out with a lawyer, if I know that it's always going to bother me that they may not understand the physics behind rocket science? That is where you have to decide what you really want. If it really matters that they be a rocket scientist, then you need to pass, but if it's not that important, maybe you were being too specific, and you just wanted someone you could hold an intellectual conversation with, then you have just opened up the doorways while still maintaining your standards. Similarly if you are a huge introvert and you don't want someone to push you to do things or go out, then why, by all means, go out with a club promoter? It is just destined to fail.

Obviously I am dealing with extremes here for the sake of a good example, but the same is true on the non-extreme end. Whether it be the smoking, drinking, swearing, nail-biting, or tattoo-addiction, if there is something inherently against your 'standard' in the compatibility categories than you might be in a losing battle. But if you can live with this person's constant need to eat when you constantly want to exercise and it does not bother you, than by all means go for it.

It's all about what you really want/need. I think it's important that we define that, at least to ourselves. If someone wants to gain 20 lbs by eating more protein and exercising more they have defined what they want. If someone wants to run a marathon they will need to train, because that is ultimately the way to get what they want. We can't run around all nilly dilly and hope that we get what we want. We need to know, or at least have a faint idea of, what we want and then take the successive steps to get us where we need to be. And at the same time not accept anything sub-par (for lack of a better term) that comes along just because it's there.

That's the tricky part, because if I'm hungry and we're going out for lobster, but the cheeseburger is right there I am so tempted to ruin my appetite for the quick fix that wasn't what I truly wanted.

Interesting.