Make a Dent!

What is the catalyst of change?

It's the silliest thought to think, because it's so obvious: if you want to change, you must something different. And change refers to changing an outcome, as well as a behavior. But doing something different is a lot harder than you think.

We often say that we want to get back in shape. So we buy a gym membership, because CLEARLY, spending money on something will increase the value in doing it and you'll become super duper fit. FALSE. In fact, they make memberships so cheap because they are banking on the fact that you will not come, nor will you cancel because you constantly tell yourself you will go, and you end up paying for state-of-the-art equipment for a bunch of people you don't even know. So while you may think that you had done something different, it wasn't a big enough dent. All you did was sign up for yet another automatic billing session. You haven't made a change that affects you or the way you deal with your day. You hadn't changed your BEHAVIOR.

Another example is meeting people. How many times have you heard (or said) that you keep meeting the same type of people? I love to dance. But just because I switch from Salsa to Swing, didn't really change my behavior. It just changed the music and venue, but generally dancers have a hidden connection, no matter the genre.

The point being is that we need to mix it up. I have moved several times in the last 10 years, and at least 5 of the moves I was in a new city and I didn't know anyone. This move I'm really trying to try a whole bunch of DIFFERENT things to find exactly what I am looking for. And it's challenging because things you thought were different, end up not being. We are habits of creature and sometimes our attempts at being weird and sticking out are so predictable, we get the same result in various locations.

I don't want to be average. I want to make a dent in the world! And so my method of making a dent is by trying a whole bunch of things and then picking a few to figure out where my skills and passion intersect.

And I hope this blog is your catalyst for dent-making. If you feel like you are in a rut and don't know how to stir things up, make a DENT. Do something  completely opposite from what you are doing now (positive, of course). Here are some interesting things to try, that can be your drastic (or not so drastic) change:

1. Learn to play an instrument
2. Read a book
3. Listen to an audiobook
4. Attend a concert
5. Cut your hair
6. Grow your hair long
7. Pray/attend organized religious event
8. Turn off the tv
9. Turn up the radio
10. Sing
11. Learn a language
12. Dance (hip hop AND country, ballet AND tap, Salsa AND Swing)
13. Unplug for a week
14. Read a comic
15. Play a sport
16. Watch a sport
17. Adopt an animal
18. Write a journal entry
19. Netflix documentaries
20. Read the news
21. Befriend someone older than your parents
22. Mentor a middle or high school student
23. Live in a different country for an extended amount of time
24. Find a pen pal who lives in jail or is serving in the military abroad
25. Give money to a charity anonymously

Lighten Up

Perhaps someone has called you crazy when you tell them your great idea to solve world hunger. Or maybe you had lofty goals of running a half-marathon and your leg cramped up at mile 7. Time after time of these things happening you may think that its just not in the books for you. But the truth is that you need to lighten up the expectations you are setting for yourself and allow yourself to enjoy the ride there. Running a half-marathon with little or no training will absolutely set yourself up for failure. Why must we always try to boil the ocean? The minute you do your research about the training regimen for running long distances, set realistic goals and push yourself to accomplish those smaller, menial tasks, the closer you will be to accomplishing what you though was your impossible. If something has been done before then it's not impossible, but sometimes we think it's impossible for us, aka 'your impossible.'

As part of the #FedUp Challenge, I recently gave up added sugar for 10 days. Now, anyone who knows me knows how much I love candy and small drops of deliciousness. But I really wanted to go ALL IN and give it a try. In my younger years this would have seemed impossible, but today, I realize that it's not that hard, and in the big scheme of things 10 days is not an eternity. So I got some friends to join for support, and set up my menus and for 10 days I gave up things that I normally would have eaten like Ice Cream, and Chocolate, and the occasional Soda. Besides the obvious benefits of living a healthier diet, this really gave me some perspective on what it is to try. People often set lofty goals at the beginning of the year to lose weight or to do more of X and less of Y, but then when you ask them in December what they did to accomplish that it's very vague as to why it didn't work. Perhaps they joined a gym that wasn't realistic to go to after work or they honestly were not willing to do the things it would take to not have all of the foods that they like.

The first thing to Lighten Up is to be realistic. If you want to bike across the country you must first own a bike, and secondly you need to know how to ride it. If you never save money in your budget to buy a bicycle, than you've already sabotaged your plan. But if you give yourself permission to accomplish smaller tasks and not just the main one at large, than you would have the following on your list:

1. Purchase a Bike (and accessories)
2. Learn how to ride
3. Map out route
4. Join a bike group
5. Ride 4-5 miles per day for a month
6. Ride 30-60 miles per week for a month
7. Stretch, Eat Healthy, and Exercise
8. Etc

Not only are you making your final goal realistic, but you are also giving yourself tiny milestones along the way that you can feel good about, so you are less likely to say this is 'your impossible.'

The next thing to do to Lighten Up is move quickly from your un-successes. This one is tough because you never want to feel as though you have given up, but sometimes changing the audience or the way in which you do something is the key to moving forward. A person could try to open up several businesses, but if they don't get customers then they are just pouring money down the drain. Starter costs will be incurred in any type of new business, but sometimes your just have the wrong product in the wrong city, targeting the wrong audience. And you have to be ok with trying different techniques, and finally calling it a wash and starting over.

Thirdly, you have to always remember your motivation. You are going to have to do things that you don't like, no matter how much you love your job or task. If you are opening up a dance studio you are going to have to deal with angry parents and learn how to make the financials add up every night. If you are trying to lose weight you will sometimes be sore after a workout. Starting your own business you will lose money upfront. Going back to school, you will have to study again and have homework and tests. Qualifying for the World Cup (which is going on right now!!!) you are going to have to practice more than you've ever wanted to.

Failure is such a dooming word and concept that we are afraid to even START things because they are our impossibles. But if we Lighten Up about how to accomplish these things and stop trying and just do, we will be setting ourselves up for much more success. Never let people deter you from your dreams, and never let fear keep you on the bench. I love Yoda's saying of "There is no try, just do and do not." Make a conscious choice to 'do' and set up realistic ways for yourself to get there. Lighten Up a little and have some fun along the way.