Stop talking . . . and listen

If you vote red, blue, or 51 shades of gray (new movie out, not trying to get sued), I’m talking to you. I promise, this is not a political rant, but something for all sides to hear, so keep reading. Thank you to my international readers; however, this post is directed at those living in the United States.

The county (USA) is divided and everyone is “yelling” at each other. Friday’s Inauguration is one of the most feared and anticipated events happening. On the one hand you have supporters who are excited for change. On the other hand you have non-supporters who are looking at their counterparts with huge side eyes, like, really? And the world is watching, wondering how this event in US History will affect world relations.

Let’s back up a second, though. I can’t predict the future, and neither can you. So let’s talk about what we can affect. Now more than ever we need to TRY HARDER. I’m not just talking to the Liberals, or just to the Conservatives, but to everyone. This mentality that our way is the only right way is hurting us. We have lost friendships over the last couple of months because people didn’t agree with us. Or people became disrespectful when we said something they did not agree with. What? We have the freedom to believe and speak our minds. It is a freedom that we often take for granted. But with freedom comes much responsibility.

We have categorized people by where they live or what they look like. We make assumptions about the other sides’ capabilities. We are talking and talking and talking, but not listening. My purpose is not to convince you that my side is right and you are wrong. My purpose, is to get you to consider their story.

Globalization has been great for the world. We are able to trade goods and purchase things from other countries that we could not, or chose not, to make for ourselves. But again, anything exploited eventually goes bad. Soon it becomes cheaper to import than to manufacture.  Manufacturing goes down and jobs get eliminated.  People stop going to school for those lost trades, and now you HAVE to import the materials because you have lost the skill to make them. The import country is free to raise the price with no competition. This is no secret and businesses do it all the time. So it’s really unfair to later get upset and add more taxes to this country for just using good business practices.

Just like it’s unfair to claim that immigrants take away all our jobs. First of all, the country was founded on immigrants and it is something that has always been celebrated. Secondly, most of the jobs people claim are taken by immigrants, are jobs they don’t want to do. And if they are jobs they DO want to do, then why is the assumption that the other candidate wasn’t qualified? Many times I have heard ‘the [Black/Hispanic/Asian/etc] person took my job.’ What? If you and I both apply and you don’t get it, why can’t it just be that you were not as fit? The minute a minority and majority party is involved, there is often a raised eyebrow as if to say the minority did not truly earn it. That is a problem. Building a wall instead of addressing the actual issue, is a problem. Paying considerably less money for hard labor is a problem. So we should fix the problem. Not put yet another band-aid over it. The reason the wall is so offensive is because people act like Mexicans are unwanted. Imagine if you were Mexican and living in Texas and you knew that people around you think you shouldn’t be there, when you are a tax-paying citizen just like them. How would you feel?

Consider that your kids are being bombed daily on their way to school and you have to turn off the lights at least once a week, for fear of being seen. Imagine being in a country where someone might try to kill you, just because. As a parent, you would do anything in your power to protect your family; even leaving the place you call home. Refugees are living this life every day. While it may seem a burden to bare the responsibility of taking care of people that are not from your country when your own country has issues, what part of being human is it to ignore someone when you are in a position to help them? What happens when you are the one that needs the help? Immigration reform is a HUGE topic, that I can’t cover in this little post, but I am just pointing out issues that we need to talk about. To look beyond how this issue affects us at home, but to think, what if we were in that position and home wasn’t safe? We can’t protect everyone, but as one of the most developed countries in the world, don’t we have a moral obligation to at least try?

Imagine walking home in the dark on a cold winter night. You have your hoodie on and are minding your business. A cop car pulls up and you are scared. Why should you be scared if you didn’t do anything? Sometimes whether you do something or not is irrelevant. When you see tons of people that look like you being shot and killed for no reason, with no real punishment, you feel as if your life does not matter. That is what Black Lives Matter is all about. It’s not a terrorist group, and the label that caring about a subset of an American group in America would ever be classified as terrorism is more than offensive. Yet, we easily dismiss it with All Lives Matter, which was never excluded. When we consider one another we stop and think of why someone would need to tell me that their life mattered. If we can’t listen, and instead we just get defensive and dismiss what this person is trying to tell us, we are not really trying.

Or instead of a hoodie at night, imagine this person had an hijab in plain daylight. How would you feel if you were scared to wear a baseball cap to the game? Not everyone in any group is bad and to automatically stereotype that they are perpetuates hate. It starts with kids teasing one another and “random” hate crimes. This is a problem we need to address.

Lastly, I want to challenge you to meet someone that looks nothing like you this year. Not only meet them, but have a conversation. Learn the difference between Transgender and transsexual; understand what makes Black hair so unique; get a refugee penpal who had to leave everything they know and love to save their life; talk to someone who voted for the other candidate and truly ask them why; learn about the education system for farm children; research why affirmative action is in place and the socioeconomic gap in minorities; ask an NRA-supporter why they love guns so much; learn a language different from your own so you can understand how difficult it can be; talk to someone 10 years younger and older than you, and find out what is/was “cool” in their day; talk to someone on the opposite religious spectrum as you and find out the basis of their beliefs (or non-beliefs). And finally, something as simple as, listen to a Pandora station opposite of what you normally listen.

There are 325 million people in the United Sates. Surely, we the people, can have some control over our destiny. It can't be just one person.

Here We Go Again

Prompted by the latest event in the news, the shooting of Terence Crutcher in Oklahoma on Friday. My thoughts on what's been going on these last couple months. . .

It is twenty sixteen
and I can not watch the news
Yesterday and now today another
Black person is getting abused
Unarmed, non-violent, doing their own thing
It was them, but could have been me
is what WE ARE ALL THINKING

Here we go again
I pray to God it's never a friend
or family member or self
But it's somebody's son or daughter
The fear is real for this indiscreet slaughter
We are TIRED of the injustice
Of protests that fall on deaf ears


I just finished winning you medals
for swimming, gymnastics, shot put, and what not
You were happily cheering me on
and together we celebrated the red, white, and blue

But now, when black and blue strikes fear
where are you
When I'm walking home in a hoodie
where are you
When my car breaks down and triple A is not there yet
Where are you
because it seems like the only thing I can do
is perform in front of millions
but when I'm all alone
I'm on my own

I celebrate not being in bondage
And what our ancestors have done
but still I have invisible chains
of systematic problems of subconscious and conscious racism
in Twenty Sixteen
whilst we have a Black president

We all have to wear the mask
And I thought by now that maybe I could remove it
But we are all still pretending
you may tan to get darker, but my dark is too dark
my dark is not beautiful, you imply
when my dark is not seen on the television screen
or in plays or musicals
So the only way to get "me" on tv is for
my people to create their own shows
Then you complain why there are no people that look like you in
the Wiz

When I rock my hair au naturale
you imply it's not professional
When I buy some hair and put it atop
you say i'm not being my genuine self
When I wear clothes that snugly fit
you say my curves are inappropriate
When I scream that Black Lives Matter
you SOMEHOW make it about you

So you tell me, when can I win?
Where can I be my authentic self?
How do I stop you from seeing Black and brown
as enemies of black and blue
What is the solution that you propose?
How do we all get along?
In more than just sports and song

Tell me when I can start watching the news again
And not seeing a potential friend
Being attacked with no remorse
and no repercussions

Tell me when I don't have to avoid social media
just not to feel depressed
When living in the free world
but we are under distress

Tell me when it's ok for my little boy
to play with a toy gun in the playground

And lastly, tell me the last time YOU had to write a poem
because you are filled with so much emotion about
what is going on with your race in your own home country.

Lack of acknowledgement that there in fact is a problem,
is part of the problem.

Wake up!

Make a Dent!

What is the catalyst of change?

It's the silliest thought to think, because it's so obvious: if you want to change, you must something different. And change refers to changing an outcome, as well as a behavior. But doing something different is a lot harder than you think.

We often say that we want to get back in shape. So we buy a gym membership, because CLEARLY, spending money on something will increase the value in doing it and you'll become super duper fit. FALSE. In fact, they make memberships so cheap because they are banking on the fact that you will not come, nor will you cancel because you constantly tell yourself you will go, and you end up paying for state-of-the-art equipment for a bunch of people you don't even know. So while you may think that you had done something different, it wasn't a big enough dent. All you did was sign up for yet another automatic billing session. You haven't made a change that affects you or the way you deal with your day. You hadn't changed your BEHAVIOR.

Another example is meeting people. How many times have you heard (or said) that you keep meeting the same type of people? I love to dance. But just because I switch from Salsa to Swing, didn't really change my behavior. It just changed the music and venue, but generally dancers have a hidden connection, no matter the genre.

The point being is that we need to mix it up. I have moved several times in the last 10 years, and at least 5 of the moves I was in a new city and I didn't know anyone. This move I'm really trying to try a whole bunch of DIFFERENT things to find exactly what I am looking for. And it's challenging because things you thought were different, end up not being. We are habits of creature and sometimes our attempts at being weird and sticking out are so predictable, we get the same result in various locations.

I don't want to be average. I want to make a dent in the world! And so my method of making a dent is by trying a whole bunch of things and then picking a few to figure out where my skills and passion intersect.

And I hope this blog is your catalyst for dent-making. If you feel like you are in a rut and don't know how to stir things up, make a DENT. Do something  completely opposite from what you are doing now (positive, of course). Here are some interesting things to try, that can be your drastic (or not so drastic) change:

1. Learn to play an instrument
2. Read a book
3. Listen to an audiobook
4. Attend a concert
5. Cut your hair
6. Grow your hair long
7. Pray/attend organized religious event
8. Turn off the tv
9. Turn up the radio
10. Sing
11. Learn a language
12. Dance (hip hop AND country, ballet AND tap, Salsa AND Swing)
13. Unplug for a week
14. Read a comic
15. Play a sport
16. Watch a sport
17. Adopt an animal
18. Write a journal entry
19. Netflix documentaries
20. Read the news
21. Befriend someone older than your parents
22. Mentor a middle or high school student
23. Live in a different country for an extended amount of time
24. Find a pen pal who lives in jail or is serving in the military abroad
25. Give money to a charity anonymously

Knowledge is Power - Blog Action Day 2013

Today is Blog Action Day for 2013. The topic this year is Human Rights. I've chosen Education, as the topic to discuss because I feel that it is just an important topic.

Malala Yousafzai has recently been all over the news. She is the young woman who was growing up in the Swat Valley in Pakistan, advocating for women's educational rights. She was shot in the head by the Taliban and left for dead. Only, she did not die. She got up and shared her story. With the world. Check out her book. This is a great example of how important education is. And when you have complete access to it, how much you may take for granted, what someone else only wish they had a glimpse.

Education is important for a countless number of reasons. Knowledge really is power. When you don't know anything, you don't know that there is something that you are missing. It's like if you are lost in a country where you don't know the language and can't even read the map. You would probably trust the first friendly face that offered to take you somewhere, just because you figure that your options alone are probably worse. Because you don't know; rather, you are uneducated in the area and language; you are at the mercy of this 'nice' stranger. They could take you wherever they wanted and you really couldn't do anything about it. And so you follow them, hour after hour, day after day, until the days become years. And sure, maybe you will run away one day and get somewhere familiar, but if you haven't learned anything while you were there, it would be very difficult to figure out a way out, and find people you could trust.

The example illustrates an extreme. But the point that is hopefully demonstrated is that  a lack of knowledge leaves one in a more vulnerable state. We have our problems with the educational system in developed countries, but the point is that education is a choice. Droppng out of school is  a choice. To some, like Malala, it is probably inconceivable why one would forfeit their right to an education. But the point is that there are people out there who do not get to make that choice. The choice is made for them, and without the knowledge that other options exist, the cycle remains very suppressive. The right to an education is very much a Human Rights issue that eventually will impact the whole world as we live with the decisions the children who turn into adults, will make.

There are tons of instances where people are oppressed by limiting, if not cutting off, their access to education and knowledge. It is important for the people that have access to the education and knowledge fight for those who don't have a voice. Those who are just blindly doing what they are told because they do not know of any other options. Those who do not have the authority on their own to make changes. I love this quote:



"First they came for the Jews

and I did not speak out

because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for the Communists

and I did not speak out

because I was not a Communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists

and I did not speak out

because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for me

and there was no one left

to speak out for me."

-Martin Niemoller


It's not about  money or who is right or wrong. It's about everyone having the knowledge to make choices and decisions that impact their life and world. Knowledge is the power to improve the world in ways you could never have imagined. Let's help others reach their potential. Advocate for education around the world.

Courtesy of: http://www.blogactionday.org